Monday, April 20, 2015

saying i love you || the letter link-up

Welcome to you, to you and to your words today. 

The Letter Link-up | Mr. Thomas & Me

This letter is part of The Letter Link-Up. They are written to remember mundane moments that would otherwise slip away, to hold tight to him, and to remember how life looks right now at this very moment with the chance to shed light on your heart. 

While my letters are documenting moments within our marriage before children for our children, you are allowed to write your letter to anyone, on anything with the prompt being simply a loose and suggestive starting point. 
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Dear Jason,

If someone asked me to guess what role you'd play in my life the day we met, I would have giggled and said you were cute. I might have guessed that I'd date you. I may have said we would go to formal together, that I might venture to Las Vegas with you, that we'd walk along that bay walk you lived near. I might have mentioned something about boyfriend, relationship, love, but I wouldn't have said husband.

I wouldn't have said husband because I was working on being un-tethered when you bounced into my life on the dance floor of the Aubergine. I wouldn't have said husband because I was trying not to find Mr. Right, or even Mr. Right Now. Would I have put words to the generous future you'd give to me? No. 

I still, being here, in it at this instant, find words ill-fitting and uncomfortable. 

What I didn't know then, was that you wouldn't date me to fix me up, to doctor my wounds, to be a cure for my soul's fears. I didn't know you'd date me asking for anything more than being the naive college girl pretending to be brave. I didn't know you'd hold patient and steady as I flipped and flopped and gave us -as a potential relationship- a hard time. 

But you fixed me up by making a quiet, safe space for me to grow. You allowed my wounds to be doctored by a grand God. You let my soul seek its own salve for the chaos of life. And, in being there, patient and present, you've done a work on my heart. 

Not only do I love you, but I love who I am because of you.

Yours forevermore,
am
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For May's link-up: 
Monday, May 25th

The topic: 
A Place of Peace
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And without further fuss, the links for April:

14 comments:

  1. Amber this is breathtaking and all the things savory sweet for souls. It offers us glimpses of the divine love shared between two knitted souls, so together and so pure.

    "Not only do I love you, but I love who I am because of you."

    Yes to the max and forevermore.

    From Germany,
    NB

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  2. Such a beautiful post, so honest and heartfelt, I almost felt rude reading such a sweet and intimate note. xx The most feels.

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  3. Oh man. That last paragraph just about MELTED ME.

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  4. I adore the love you share for your husband!

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  5. I totally relate to not looking for Mr. Right and wanting to not be tied down when I met my future husband. It's so funny the way God is so loving and gentle with us. We are hurt and broken and we say "No, I don't want love" and God says "Here's a man to love the broken out of you". He is good, and we are loved and I LOVE IT.

    -Annie

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  6. I can definitely relate to the "not looking for Mr. Right" part. But hey, when it's right and good and safe, sometimes it's the things we WEREN'T looking for that do us the most good.

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  7. YES. ALL OF THIS. God's timing is so perfect. I can't tell you how many times that someone or something has been placed into my life when I least expected it or thought I needed it least. Good thing He knows better than we do. ;)

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  8. This is so, so sweet. "I love who I am because of you." Love that!

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  9. I don't like telling people what to do (well I do, but I don't ACTUALLY know you so I feel I shouldn't), like in yearbooks when people write, "Never change!" I think that's silly. Change if you want to, come on! But Amber.. I want to write in your yearbook, and I want to say "Never stop writing." If not for you then for us. You are breathtakingly amazing and your words speak to our souls. Thanks for being you.

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  10. Ah, this is so lovely! "Not only do I love you, but I love who I am because of you." Nothing could be better said.

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  11. As always, thank you for sharing not only your love of writing, but your love for Jason. It's truly inspiring. By opening your heart to him, you allowed SO much love to enter your life. YOU ROCK!!-Lena

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  12. This part.
    "But you fixed me up by making a quiet, safe space for me to grow."

    ALL THE FEELS.

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