Monday, April 6, 2015

a year to savor: some reflections

On January 1, 2015, I made a promise to myself to savor this year. I knew many changes laid in the months to come and instead of racing through them like a mad woman, I dedicated myself to enjoy the process, the bits of transition and transformation. And so, I am.

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Three months into my Year of Savoring and I've realized a few things:

Not always easy, but easy enough. The nights when Jason is home or we're having family dinner I hardly think about my phone or being somewhere else or all the writing things I want to do.

However, I'm struggling to savor time with myself. I'm a person who relishes the thought of time alone to think and be and do, but lately I've been trying to frantically fill that time with other people -even if just through social media. This doesn't fill me as much as I would like to say so. The task that lies ahead is to find a balance between self and social media in the slower, quieter moments.

Not always sad tears or mad tears or anything bad, but just crying. My mom gave me a book (this one in particular) for my birthday. The big symbol in it is hawks -which are special to me- and it's a memoir about a girl losing her father. Does this sound sort of familiar? And so, I almost cried when I saw the kind, encouraging note she'd written inside the cover.

It seems savoring encourages me to be more emotionally vulnerable (even just with myself), something I'm enjoying and that's causing me to grow, but that's become a different social "responsibility" than I'd imagined.

I love to think about the next step. So much love it that I ignore what's happening now until it's gone and we're there and I realize that I've missed the point of things. No more of that.

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But I'm struggling to keep myself in pursuit of opportunities to savor new, different, many things. I realize I'm getting caught in ruts where I just keep focusing and enjoying the same things over and over again. So, for the next three months I'm going to set focus with three goals or points from which I can jump off.

The SheReadsTruth plan for Lent is good and has challenged me to rethink about this time of the year and what it means for my faith. But I'm ready to be free, to be on my own in my bible reading for some time. I have started to feel hedged in, bordered beyond my desires, and it's making me itchy. I'm longing to return to the Psalms and to just resonate with the raw emotions that are caught up in those words.

As much as I have dedicated myself to write online, I've really fell out of the habit of journaling. I miss the pen to paper process... So, time to revive it.

Sometimes I catch myself eating dinner with Jason and inhaling my dinner. I realize I'm feeling frantic, like I must eat and eat and eat in pace with him. And that's just not the case. Lately, I've found myself struggling to sleep at night without waking and making lists, without working through the things I need to do. And, well, that's self-important. I'm sometimes so busy pulling myself in a dozen directions only to realize that I'm doing nothing well or with heart. And, that's disappointing. So, I need to slow down, savor my dinner, my sleep and let life be without that constant feeling of rush.

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I'm a believer that when you fail to plan, you plan to fail. So, how is this all going to happen? What might it look like?

Not a new book of the bible (because I started before Lent) but using the Life Lived Beautifully journal.

Thanks to this post from one of my favorite writers, bloggers, life-livers ever, Emily Freeman. I'm five days in and LOVING it with a few hiccups here or there.

I decided to take on something new for 30 days because why not try something new? And at first I thought it would be something with book writing or music listening or TV watching, but after devouring Hannah Brencher's book, I've decided to write letters in a journal for the month. Not that I'll tear them out and share them, but as a heart experiment -like who is on my heart, what's heavy or important to me, all the weighty things I want to write out, but don't.

I'm grossly hooked on caffeine. I think changing that habit will help slow my intensely forward-moving roll.

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How do you best savor? 


  1. I am such a planner, and I've realized lately that has translated into being way too future-focused. So for me, savoring has become about living in the day-to-day, soaking up all it has to offer, and focusing less on what may or may not happen next week or month or year.

  2. Ah I just love the word you chose for this year. It is just perfect and necessary and something that I know I could use to do more of. I also love this post because I struggle with some of the same things you're talking about - being alone with my thoughts is HARD but I crave alone time like never before... then it gets eaten up by Instagram. :-|

    Also I've heard awesome things about bullet journaling so it's cool to see you trying it! Can't wait to hear how it goes.

  3. I really love this post. I also love that your word is encouraging you to be vulnerable. I need more of that in my life.

  4. Slow down and savour life's moments - the sights, the smells, the sounds. Close your eyes and just take it all in. :) I think we all have a hard time slowing down, North Americans most especially. We just don't know how but if we practiced a bit more intention, I think it's definitely possible.

  5. What a lovely general goal for the year. I agree that savouring people is relatively easy, it's one of my favourite things to do. I've been keeping a daily gratitude diary which has been a great way to savour and I've also been completing the question a day Q&A diary. For me, savouring this year is about reflecting on my progress which is nice :) Drink tea is an excellent goal by the way haha! <3

  6. Yes to every thing in this post. You are beauty and these words were making my soul nod in agreement. Inspiration and motivation. I can do this: I can savor. Thank you.

  7. I'm trying to write more in my journal too. I had read somewhere that one of the best practices to help enhance your creativity is to write three pages in your journal every day, just free style/chain of thought, within the first 1/2 hour of waking up. Now, I don't think I've been able to do it within the first 1/2 hour, and I haven't done it every single day, but it's a cool exercise and I'm hoping eventually I can build up to that.

  8. yes, i completely understand this. so often i find myself dreaming of what's later and that often comes at the cost of being annoyed with what's right now... how terrible that i'm stealing that joy from myself!

  9. YES, i've been trying to be more intentional about alone time and quiet and removing myself from online spaces for my own sanity... it's NOT easy. not at all, but i always find myself thankful for it later soooo, maybe i shouldn't be so reluctant. :)

    the bullet journaling is a WIN so far. it's simple and pressure free but delightful.

  10. you can do it! (you will says a little bird i know!)

  11. absolutely yes. i think you say it perfectly when you talk about practicing intention. i don't think that's something that is common or "normal" in north america and that makes our run, run, run, go, go, go lifestyle seem totally acceptable... but maybe we're all just wearing ourselves right out!

  12. oh do you love the Q&A diary? i've heard SUCH great things about it! :)

    savoring people is far easier for me than savoring my place or space or time in life... maybe that should be a focus? :)

  13. you can. you can and you do but you just don't realize it.

  14. YES morning pages! :) i completely have heard of this and those and that! i have tried not to give myself a number or limit on what to write... but often find that by the end of a page i'm good and ready to move on to the next thing (so often on my computer!).


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