Wednesday, October 22, 2014

hopes and dreams [a marriage letter]

Dear Jason, 

I remember the first time I told you I wanted to write a book. It was midnight, dark, dark without moonlight. I was lying awake, thinking about it, about the way it was weighing on my shoulders, and how I wanted to tell you, but felt shy. Often I'd only let myself think about it at night, when I was sure you were unconscious and snoring softly beside me. But that night you stirred, like you knew I was mulling life over, and you ran your hand down my spine ever so gently, asking me silently if I was aware.

I whispered, I need to write a book. It's in there. And it's bugging me.

You simply ran your fingers down my back once again. It was winter and your fingers were cold through my flannel shirt. I wanted to see your face, desperately, and yet, I craved the privacy of not knowing how you first reacted. 

We were just a year married then. Fresh off tragedy realizing the temporal nature of life, the way marriages beautiful and lovely weren't free of loss, learning that love does conquer all in the hardest and scariest of ways. We didn't talk about it again for well over a year. Until now. 

I was shy when we started talking about the book again, like when we first started dating and I didn't know if you were interested or not. I was shy because sometimes our dreams feel silly when we speak them out loud. Sometimes they feel like dreams -imaginary and far out spots in our consciousness- and sometimes they feel like hope -attainable, beautiful goals. 

Now you ask about word counts. You tell me there will be a nice dinner when the manuscript is done. You walk through cerebral conversations with me. You do it with humor and genuine mulling over of my questions, problems, conundrums. You make jokes when I get too bogged down in the abstractions, then you pack away the issues at hand and bring them back to me with a fresh perspective. You promise you'll read it, you'll ask for my autograph, and you'll take me away for the weekend when I'm published. 

You spur my motivation. You laugh when I'm too serious and you engage when I'm stumped. You feed my soul. I hope I can be as nutritious to your hungry soul as you are to mine. 

May we always be filled with hopes and dreams,
am
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These letters are the brainchild of Amber C. Haines and her husband, Seth. While they take a break from writing for the summer, I'm choosing to continue on my own. I write to remember mundane moments that would otherwise slip away, to hold tight to him, and to remember how life looks right now at this very moment, plus the chance for these letters to shed light on our marriage before children for our children because they won't know us as newlyweds otherwise.

24 comments:

  1. I love the feelings I get when reading these letters.

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  2. This is a beautiful letter and a great idea to keep memories of moments like those.

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  3. I love your love! Your book is going to be great and I love that Jason supports you in that.

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  4. I, for one, cannot WAIT to read your book <3

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  5. I love that Jason is so supportive of your dreams! Now THAT'S a real man!


    -Kate
    www.theflorkens.com

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  6. Absolutely lovely. What a fantastic husband.

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  7. Being married to someone who supports your dream-chasing is truly one of the greatest gifts in this life.

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  8. This is beautiful. It's so great to have someone with you every step of the way.

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  9. You two are the absolute sweetest - and reading about how he loves you, warms my heart.
    I am so happy that God has blessed you with such a sweet husband, who yearns to protect and cherish you. What a wonderful husband.

    On another note - I can't wait to buy your book.

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  10. I really hope you have these printed out and saved somewhere...they're stunning and beautiful and haunting in a way. I've said it once, I'll say it again...the way you write is just captivating. Can't wait to read this book. I think I'll celebrate with you, too!

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  11. This is beautiful and wonderful that he is so engaged in your dreams:) I'll read your book, too:)

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  12. I am always awe-struck after I read these humble letters that drip with tender love. Thank you for letting us be apart of your love.

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  13. This is so sweet! It's so important to have a partner who is supportive. Your husband sounds like a great man.

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  14. You write so beautifully - it makes me smile and cry at the same time. And I love that Mr T is your Number One fan x

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  15. I love reading your letters to Jason! Beautifully written,
    as per usual. I can’t wait for you to be published so I can read more of your
    gorgeous words. GO AMBER GO!!! WRITE ALL THE WORDS! YOU CAN (AND ALREADY ARE) DO(ING) IT!

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  16. Such a beautiful glimpse into your relationship. I love this idea!

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  17. !!! I Silvia Post This Testimony Coz My Husband Is Back Thanks To Dr.Ukaka

    Hello friends! My Name is Silvia from Californian i have had a lot about Dr Ukaka on his good work, for bringing back lost relationship but i never believe because so many spell caster scam me because of my husband who left me and three kids over a year and two months. so a good friend of mine introduce me to Dr Ukaka just because my condition was so bad and the responsibility in my matrimonial home was more than me. my husband left me to another woman just because i don't have male child for him. so i email Dr Ukaka and told him everything, he told me not to worry that my husband will come back and i will have a male child for him. he only told me to believe on him that after casting the spell my husband will come back immediately and beg for forgiveness. he real did it for me and my husband come back to me in the nest two days. i was very happy and thanks dr freedom. so, i was in this situation (May 12 2014) i told Dr Ukaka that i will start shearing his testimony to every one in the word if he make me to have a male child to my husband. and he also did it as am shearing this testimony to every one out dear, that am with my new bouncy baby boy. now i believe that i am the happiest woman on earth because Dr Ukaka restore my life in my matrimonial home you can thank him for me or email him for urgent help in any bad situation i promise you he will also help you; his email address is freedomlovespell@hotmail.com contact him on his website address: freedomlovespelltemple.yolasite.com

    ReplyDelete
  18. !!! I Silvia Post This Testimony Coz My Husband Is Back Thanks To Dr.Ukaka

    Hello friends! My Name is Silvia from Californian i have had a lot about Dr Ukaka on his good work, for bringing back lost relationship but i never believe because so many spell caster scam me because of my husband who left me and three kids over a year and two months. so a good friend of mine introduce me to Dr Ukaka just because my condition was so bad and the responsibility in my matrimonial home was more than me. my husband left me to another woman just because i don't have male child for him. so i email Dr Ukaka and told him everything, he told me not to worry that my husband will come back and i will have a male child for him. he only told me to believe on him that after casting the spell my husband will come back immediately and beg for forgiveness. he real did it for me and my husband come back to me in the nest two days. i was very happy and thanks dr freedom. so, i was in this situation (May 12 2014) i told Dr Ukaka that i will start shearing his testimony to every one in the word if he make me to have a male child to my husband. and he also did it as am shearing this testimony to every one out dear, that am with my new bouncy baby boy. now i believe that i am the happiest woman on earth because Dr Ukaka restore my life in my matrimonial home you can thank him for me or email him for urgent help in any bad situation i promise you he will also help you; his email address is freedomlovespell@hotmail.com contact him on his website address: freedomlovespelltemple.yolasite.com........

    ReplyDelete
  19. !!! I Silvia Post This Testimony Coz My Husband Is Back Thanks To Dr.Ukaka

    Hello friends! My Name is Silvia from Californian i have had a lot about Dr Ukaka on his good work, for bringing back lost relationship but i never believe because so many spell caster scam me because of my husband who left me and three kids over a year and two months. so a good friend of mine introduce me to Dr Ukaka just because my condition was so bad and the responsibility in my matrimonial home was more than me. my husband left me to another woman just because i don't have male child for him. so i email Dr Ukaka and told him everything, he told me not to worry that my husband will come back and i will have a male child for him. he only told me to believe on him that after casting the spell my husband will come back immediately and beg for forgiveness. he real did it for me and my husband come back to me in the nest two days. i was very happy and thanks dr freedom. so, i was in this situation (May 12 2014) i told Dr Ukaka that i will start shearing his testimony to every one in the word if he make me to have a male child to my husband. and he also did it as am shearing this testimony to every one out dear, that am with my new bouncy baby boy. now i believe that i am the happiest woman on earth because Dr Ukaka restore my life in my matrimonial home you can thank him for me or email him for urgent help in any bad situation i promise you he will also help you; his email address is freedomlovespell@hotmail.com contact him on his website address: freedomlovespelltemple.yolasite.com

    ReplyDelete
  20. !!! I Silvia Post This Testimony Coz My Husband Is Back Thanks To Dr.Ukaka

    Hello friends! My Name is Silvia from Californian i have had a lot about Dr Ukaka on his good work, for bringing back lost relationship but i never believe because so many spell caster scam me because of my husband who left me and three kids over a year and two months. so a good friend of mine introduce me to Dr Ukaka just because my condition was so bad and the responsibility in my matrimonial home was more than me. my husband left me to another woman just because i don't have male child for him. so i email Dr Ukaka and told him everything, he told me not to worry that my husband will come back and i will have a male child for him. he only told me to believe on him that after casting the spell my husband will come back immediately and beg for forgiveness. he real did it for me and my husband come back to me in the nest two days. i was very happy and thanks dr freedom. so, i was in this situation (May 12 2014) i told Dr Ukaka that i will start shearing his testimony to every one in the word if he make me to have a male child to my husband. and he also did it as am shearing this testimony to every one out dear, that am with my new bouncy baby boy. now i believe that i am the happiest woman on earth because Dr Ukaka restore my life in my matrimonial home you can thank him for me or email him for urgent help in any bad situation i promise you he will also help you; his email address is freedomlovespell@hotmail.com contact him on his website address: freedomlovespelltemple.yolasite.com,,..

    ReplyDelete
  21. !!! I Silvia Post This Testimony Coz My Husband Is Back Thanks To Dr.Ukaka

    Hello friends! My Name is Silvia from Californian i have had a lot about Dr Ukaka on his good work, for bringing back lost relationship but i never believe because so many spell caster scam me because of my husband who left me and three kids over a year and two months. so a good friend of mine introduce me to Dr Ukaka just because my condition was so bad and the responsibility in my matrimonial home was more than me. my husband left me to another woman just because i don't have male child for him. so i email Dr Ukaka and told him everything, he told me not to worry that my husband will come back and i will have a male child for him. he only told me to believe on him that after casting the spell my husband will come back immediately and beg for forgiveness. he real did it for me and my husband come back to me in the nest two days. i was very happy and thanks dr freedom. so, i was in this situation (May 12 2014) i told Dr Ukaka that i will start shearing his testimony to every one in the word if he make me to have a male child to my husband. and he also did it as am shearing this testimony to every one out dear, that am with my new bouncy baby boy. now i believe that i am the happiest woman on earth because Dr Ukaka restore my life in my matrimonial home you can thank him for me or email him for urgent help in any bad situation i promise you he will also help you; his email address is freedomlovespell@hotmail.com contact him on his website address: freedomlovespelltemple.yolasite.com

    ReplyDelete
  22. An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my wife back to me.. My name is Edwin Wallace,i live in United Kngdom,and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife.so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce.she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she didn't love me anymore.So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife.So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.{supremetemple@hotmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who didn't call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website {supremetemple@hotmail.com},if">{supremetemple@hotmail.comm},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to the Dr PAPAr for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again. {supremetemple@hotmail.com}, Thanks..

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hello, My name is
    Jessylynn harvey. i want to share to the whole world on how Dr Keke Odin
    the chief Priest of all the spell casters in India Helped me reunite my
    marriage. To cut the long story shot, after 2 years of break up with my
    Husband with no phone calls or email messages. i was so frustrated
    because i have contacted so many other spell casters with no results.
    when i read about Dr Keke Odin (The Chief Priest Of all the spell
    casters in India) on his website at http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com
    so i decided to contact him for help. to my greatest surprise, in just
    24 hours later my Husband called me and started begging for forgiveness.
    i am now a happy woman with a beautiful baby girl.all thanks to Dr Keke
    Odin. You can contact Dr keke Odin On contact him directly on his email at greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com or contact him through his website at http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com. his help is assured and guaranteed once again email him directly at greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

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