Monday, September 15, 2014

Coffee Date 6.0

If we were on a coffee date, I'd say let's meet really early and walk while we sip and caffeinate because it's summer here still and I'm loving the outdoors before they get hot. There's a smell to late summer-early fall mornings and we could soak it in together. You could bring your pup, though I'd be honest that Hazel isn't the most civilized of friends.

If we were on a coffee date, I'd ask about your budget and spending. How do you decide what's worth it and what isn't? Do you have spouse "allowances" that you can spend without criticism from the other? Do you prioritize date nights or groceries or all the other things by the month, or week, or otherwise?

If we were on a coffee date, I'd confess to struggling with guilt lately. Guilt about my caffeine intake, about drinking wine, about taking a day of rest, about all. the. things. And I think that guilt is a reflection of my heart right now -that it's busy, busy, busy, void of peace and rest. So, I'm going to try and slow my soul.

If we were on a coffee date, I'd admit to wanting less and more. Some days I want to simplify life, pare down my closet to a capsule wardrobe, and keep things easy, breezy. Other days I want all the things I can manage to get my grubby little hands on. Either way, I'm fickle and that's, well, ever-changing.

If we were on a coffee date, I'd want to tell you that I wasn't successful in all my summer reading. In fact, there were three books I started and couldn't finish. In fact, those three books were only read to the point of page 50 and if they weren't drawing me in by then, I stopped. And I'm actually proud of that fact. How do you know when to stop and cut yourself some slack? (Maybe this is a bigger than books question.)

If we were on a coffee date, I'd be honest that I love summer and I don't want it to go because less sunlight, less tans, less flip flops. But that I'm ready for fall too. Because scarves and cooler weather and bonfires in the backyard with a glass of wine and a blanket. This year is magical to me being in the house and experiencing each season for the first time in a new place.

If we were on a coffee date, I'd rave about Celestial Green Tea with White Tea. After getting rid of my afternoon coffee habit, I decided tea would help in the place of that afternoon slump. I'm not a green tea girl, but this stuff, so smooth, so delicious (even without sweetener), and made in a sustainable way (which first freaked me out because the bags are "pillows" and look funny, but now I love). Hot, cold, with lemon, with peaches, it's surely delicious.

If we were on a coffee date, I'd share that a book looms. A book sits on my conscious asking me to write it, wanting to be put out there, but it scares me too. It asks if I can do it, if I have a such thing as that many words, if there's anything I could come up with that important or beautiful to say. So I ignore it, but then it creeps and taps and won't leave me be. How do you do that friends, conquer those seemingly insurmountable tasks? Is it that I need a home team to encourage me? Or a what the hell, let's do this attitude? Or just space and time to sit and think on it?

If we were on a coffee date, I'd feel warm and fuzzy inside. I've been feeling especially affectionate about my friends and readers and coworkers lately. I realize these relationships are choices, not required, not forced, but cherished and equally laden. This fact amazes me and flatters me and reminds me to be making the good choice too.

27 comments:

  1. Love these coffee date posts! I dread the end of summer, but I do love the crispness that's suddenly in the air this time of year. I'm not a green tea fan either, but I love chai tea and I really enjoy lemon tea as well. During the summer my caffeine/coffee in take quickly becomes out of control and now that fall is here I'm limiting myself to one cup of coffee in the morning, every few days another cup in the afternoon.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If we were on a coffee date...I'd ask how you clean the mess out of your life (literally and metaphorically). I have messy things I need to cut lose, but I find myself holding on and don't understand why. Like your guilt being a reflection of your heart, I'm finding my life becoming a reflection of this internal mess of bad relationships and poor habits.

    That tea sounds amazing though, I'll have to look into some!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Guilt. Oh girl how I can relate to that feeling!!! Mine is mostly in my marriage lately. And we do actually do allowances and we love them. If we make extra income off of blogging, photography jobs, etc it also becomes our spending money!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I may need to try that tea. I just went tea shopping yesterday and stocked up on some new flavors, but that combo also sounds wonderful!

    -Kate
    www.theflorkens.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Warner and I would love to join you and Hazel for some coffee. He's just as reckless as she is....

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ugh, I've been feeling guilty lately too! And just heavy. Not even sure why, but I'm trying to figure out what's going on.

    ReplyDelete
  7. If we were on a coffee date, I'd share with you how your Milking Stool ministry has inspired my fiance and I to partake in this bible study, together, as a couple. Yay for virtual bible studies! Thank you for leading this brigade :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. i would buy and read that book and shout it from the rooftops that you wrote it, so i hope you do my love. my coffee was dedicated to you today!

    ReplyDelete
  9. You know, I think we would have the best time on a coffee date. I feel like we'd never run out of options of things to talk about. I feel ya on a lot of these, especially the wanting less and more one. I am bipolar when it comes to that in my life. I think that's just sinful of me...I'm working hard on simplifying and realizing that it's all about Him and all the other little things in life don't matter. How hard it is though--I love stuff. The struggle!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm learning most of the answers to these questions myself, but I can answer the book one: it won't leave you. You'll keep thinking about it as you keep pushing it off and eventually you'll be forced to sit and just start. And then you'll wrestle. For how long, I can't know, but you'll wrestle until one day, you find you've written the work.



    And gosh dang it, Amber: WRITE THE BOOK.


    Also, I'm glad you confessed to being torn being wanting more and wanting less. Sometimes I want to give everything I own away until I live monastically and other days I want all the space to put all the things. It's a messy conflict, let me tell you. Literally, messy. ;]

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm impressed that you still love summer, even with the temperatures you've been mentioning on twitter. I love summer...but I love tropical summers. 90 degrees with high humidity is just fine...I've never actually experienced over 100 degree heat but it doesn't sound like my kind of heat...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh girl, the guilt. My heart is heavy but this helps so much!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Love these posts. :) I struggle with the same fear when it comes to writing that book that's sitting in the back of my mind. I think writers (and people in general) tend to be their own worst critics, but at some point we all just learn to work through it. You're a beautiful writer. You'd write an amazing book. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. This just confirms even more in my mind that I would love to have a coffee date with you... or a potato chip hike. EITHER ONE. I'm not picky.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I felt the same about a book that was inside of me... It nevers goes away, you just have to trust God and start writing a little bit at the time ;)

    ReplyDelete
  16. If I could somehow manage to combine the warm loveliness of summer days with the crispness of fall without the SWEATING TO DEATHNESS of summer or the I'M SO COLD of fall I'd be the happiest clam in the land.


    Do you struggle with the caffeine intake downgrade? I haven't had as tough a time as I expected... But the cold of winter makes me more needy on the warm, caffeinated stuff. :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. The mess. I've been trying REALLY hard to be diligent about mess. I've found that relationships that are messy and toxic are the hardest for me. But I've also found that it's been SO VITAL for me to fill those "cravings" with other things... Sometimes a book, sometimes my bible, sometimes some INTENSE reflection on how much better I am now... Which doesn't work always.


    I've also realized that I love to feel productive so I try and take some time every morning to make a list of things I want to get done in the day ahead. Usually it's only 5 things and one is sort of lamely easy, but it feels so good to be productive AND it keeps my time from getting messy and wasted... Sometimes tightening up my routine a little bit helps weed out mess REALLY quick. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. YESSSS to allowances. I know it sounds so stupid, but in efforts of saving and such I want to be able to have a little give for one another so we're not feeling guilty or tense over our spending... Sounds so simple, but it's not! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Girl, it's delicious. Iced and hot, delicious!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Luckily the east coast of Canada doesn't have a whole lot of crazy sweating to death, I think what we would consider a hot day here would be considered a cool day in the south!


    I've found that I can pretty easily go a day or two without coffee or caffeine but on the third or fourth day I will get a caffeine headache. I wouldn't consider it extreme detoxing or anything like that though! :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. I've been trying to be really diligent in being honest with myself about why I'm feeling guilty. Sometimes it's because I'm disappointing myself, others I'm just frustrated with others and internalizing it... It's made me realize that there are things worth being convicted over... And then there's others that are not! :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh girl I can't tell you HOW HAPPY this makes me. It's so amazing to know that ya'll are going this together (with me too!!!!) especially as your wedding moves closer and closer! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Well. This might just be something I hold you (and Amelia) accountable for.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I don't think we'd EVER run out. Slash Starbucks would close before we have the chance to get all the words and feelings in. I know it.


    I. LOVE. STUFF. TOO. I still have that itch to go through my closet and get rid of some things... AND NOT REPLACE THEM.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Potato chips for LIFE. I mean, coffee and mimosas too.

    ReplyDelete
  26. When I wrote this, I was specifically thinking about ending a very poisonous relationship. I sat in my car at a red light thinking about how the mess was less like dirt and more like thorny vines weaving around my heart that were getting harder and harder to execavate. And that did the trick, somehow (praise the Lord, it has been going on for far too long). 24 hours later...I pulled all those weeds out and the Lord has rained sunshine and joy that I haven't felt in so long down on me.


    Not that clearing the mess is easy (it took me a YEAR, DUH)...but I am so, so glad I finally did it. Now the healing can start!

    ReplyDelete

Feel free to share with me... In fact, your words do more for me than mine for you.

I reserve the right to remove negative interactions... This is a space to share, to inspire, to laugh, and to cry - while everyone is entitled to an opinion, no one is entitled to spread hurtful words.

Blogger Template designed By The Sunday Studio.