Wednesday, June 18, 2014

he asked me just one thing.


One of our many secrets to successful marriage is check-ins. Check-ins about work, dreams, effects, hopes. We sit, usually side by side in the car as pilot and passenger, country music playing softly in the background, and give voice to our dreams and hopes and desires.We check-in to be sure we're fulfilled, purposeful, happy. To be positive we're reading the same page. To be intimate in the details.

Monday was one of those conversations. In the middle of the five hour drive home, we found time to talk, to check in. And we did just that. Addressing life before kids then life post-work, post-college graduations, life in retirement. No mention of the years in between because, well, that's what where we always focus.

He asked me just one thing: If I could change all the things I do each day, would I and to what? 

I said, yes. I said, I'd be a nurse. I said, in doing so I'd help so many people. I want to spend my life helping people, I said. I want to bless them, to change them, to provide them help. If I was a nurse, I know I'd do just that -bless, change, help.

He laughed. He asked, do you believe that's the only way you could help?

I said, no. I could be a pastor, a teacher, the President of the United States. I could be a doctor, a professor, the Mayor of our small town. I could bless, change, help doing any and all of those things.

He laughed. He said, you're right.

Silence. Moments of still conversation while Kerosene plays on the radio.

Then realization.

I said, I'm wrong. I lied. Mulligan. Redo. Cross out and start over.

I said, I meant no. I said, I'm a blogger and writer. I said, in doing so I'm helping. I am spending my life writing words to build communities, to inspire honesty and bravery, to change church into faith. I'm a blogger and writer and I'm doing it -blessing, changing, helping.

Yes. He said. You are

Though I'm not bandaging wounds, administering medications, providing physical and mental peace, I'm helping. Rather than working on the physical body, I'm writing for the proverbial soul.

Each post -filled with bits and pieces of me- drops into the pond in which I swim, creating ripples outward. Some ripples large, others small, travel out, out, out, making waves (mini they might be) in the people gathered around. Ripples that become waves as momentum is gathered, as bibles are cracked open, as prayers are lifted high. Ripples that become waves as movement is recognized, as we -the community- acknowledge our impetus and run with it far as the water will take us.

I'm helping, I said. I'm writing words about hard things, about sad times, about memories all the same. I'm giving voices to emotions, to questions, to ideas in hopes that my whispers can bring out louder, bolder conversations. I'm writing for the many, rather than the one -attempting to bless, change, help in ways written, not performed.

I'm helping, I write. Bless, change, help.
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This post is my entry in the Making Waves essay contest hosted by Jaybird Blog, All Things E, Near and Far Montana, and Tossing the Script -four incredible wave makers in my pond. 

21 comments:

  1. Once again, your posts just need a like button. So beautifully written.

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  2. TheJessaOlsonBlogJune 18, 2014 at 6:14 AM

    I love this! WE do check ins too. Sometimes it's while we are driving, but most of the time it's during our nightly walk just talking with each other. During long road trips we ask each other questions like that too.

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  3. I am continually moved by you and your words, Amber. Beautiful.

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  4. You are very right, friend. You ARE helping with your writing. I am always helped and encouraged by you. Don't forget it--the world is better for your words.

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  5. beautifully written my dear. love your heart.

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  6. YES. 1000x yes.


    You are helping more people, more than you know.


    So so great! Thank you for sharing

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  7. You HELP me. Every single day. To be a better wife, a better blogger, a better follower and a better friend. Thank you for helping me sweet Amber x

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  8. I think this is so true. Reaching people is a way to help them. It could also be causing change. And the way you write, you're definitely blessing more people than you realize through your stories and thoughts!

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  9. You are helping people with your blog!! Marriage check ins is a great idea!!

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  10. So beautiful. You really are helping people. Never discount how great of a person you are and how much you already are helping people!

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  11. I love this and you are so right. You make a difference in the words you let us come here and read on the regular. Beautifully written. :)

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  12. You are healing the soul, bringing people together and doing all kinds of beautiful things through blogging. The progression of your conversation is interesting too; I think we could all apply that idea (what do you want to do, what do you want to be adding to the world, how do you want to be reaching people) to our own reflection. We might realize that we're already starting those ripples in unexpected ways. So glad you decided to enter Make Waves!

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  13. This is beautiful! Allowing yourself to make the most of what you did choose, rather than just wallow in "what-could-have-been" - so much wisdom in this.

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  14. I love this post; especially because as I was reading it, I was thinking "but you ARE helping!" - and then you got there on your own. I could just squeeze you; I always feel so happy after I read your posts. Big, big hugs!

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  15. Your words are so beautiful... and so on point. You make waves in so many people's lives through your words + writing!

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  16. And what a beautiful writer you are!

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  17. I'm so glad you came to that realization! I have felt this way too, at times, and my husband (or friends!) remind me that this is something that has been gifted to me, writing and a heart to want to help others, and that it can be done using the gifts I've already been gifted! You are blessing so many with your sweet heart & words - I am thankful for you!

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  18. MY name is Angela Schneider am from California, i never believe that my ex boyfriend will ever make up with me again just because of the incident that happened on a day that suppose to be his engagement night he called me on phone asking me to came and meet him at royal palm bunch hotel,that same hour on my way going there i meant an old time friend called jack will son,he was my first love during our high school days he put some pressure on me that same night but i tried my possible best to explain every thing to him that i am with some one already but he refuse to understand me and still putting more pressure on me saying that i should hangout with him,we were together all through that night,and my boy friend waited for me all through that night.but i never known all in the name of old time sake i was dealing with the wrong person jack i known before later turn into something else after having sex with me,my boy friend was hot and was very agree with me because he was to propose to me that same night but i never known of that i apologize to him and told him a lie that my father was ill that i was the only one available to talk him to the hospital,he was convince but later few days to our wedding some body from no were came and testify against me that i have been cheating on my boy friend with an evidence of a photo of that same incident that happen between i and jack. my boyfriend was very agree with me and throne me out of his house saying is over between both of us,he discovered that his ex girlfriend who traveled to Canada to visit her uncle was back he later go back to her and i held he was planning to marry her,but due to what happened i still loves him very much and i Bella can not afford to loose him to another,i sick for help in difference places but there was no solution,last i meant my friend jenny we both attend this same high school together so i shale my problems with her and she introduce me a powerful DR called, Dr.Brave help me in getting my lover back immoderately without any delay my ex boyfriend later came back to me with much love and our wedding was planned and we finally got wedded and blessed with three lovely kids. I Bella will forever be thankful to Dr.Brave for helping me restore my marriage back he can also do the same for you email:bravespellcaster@gmail.com ,or kindly visit he website http://bravespellcaster.yolasite.com .

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