Friday, April 11, 2014

fridays call for coffee and honest words

If we were on a coffee date, I won't be drinking coffee. It's too hot around these parts to drink a latte, so I'd buy Shaken Passion Tea. I'd want a scone too, but probably wouldn't get one. I'd tell myself I can't get one because the tea is my treat. Because I'd feel guilty about the scone. I'd buy your drink because I like to be a good date.

If we were on a coffee date, I'd tell you I'm guilty a lot lately. I don't know why, but I can manage to feel guilty about everything -food, drink, money, organization, time management. There's lots of guilt, but I can't put my finger on why. Obviously this is something to explore. I'd ask you if this happens to you, guilt -random and deep and frustrating.

If we were on a coffee date, I'd tell you that this vulnerability thing is hard. I have a lot of feelings, it turns out and, well, I'm struggling to sort through them. Maybe I opened myself up to them in taking on a month of being vulnerable? I'd ask you how you sort through the mess of emotions and get to those beginnings.

If we were on a coffee date, I might cry a little bit. I might cry about how I feel scared lately, but about what I don't know. I might cry about being tired, about the time of the month, about the cold mornings and hot nights. I might just cry about anything because I can. I'd ask you do you just want to cry sometimes, are tears what will make things feel all better?

If we were on a coffee date, we'd laugh at how annoyed I am by my neighbor's large dogs pooping on my lawn. As if Hazel's poop isn't fun enough to deal with, I now get to pick up after three. I'd tell you how I don't want to text the neighbors every time there's a poop when they're watching the DumpFest go down. You'd laugh at how I looked at coyote and cougar urine online to "mark" our lawn as a no-go zone because I've decided this is an angry hill I'm prepared to ridiculously die upon. I'd ask you what things bug you like this and how do you deal?

If we were on a coffee date, I'd rave my new bible. I love it. Leather, maroon, single column, fresh. Usually it takes me weeks to decide to finally use a new one, but this one is already loved. I'd ask you if you've used the single column format before because it's different, amazing, easy to read.

If we were on a coffee date, I'd ask about Lent. I am loving my Naptime Diaries 40-Day Journal and dreading when it comes to an end. My mom shared this from Kristin Schmucker with me the other day and I think I'm going to try it. I'd ask you how you study, what works best for you, how you hear Him best.

If we were on a coffee date, I'd compliment your shoes and ask where you bought them, then try and find them on Amazon. I do all my shopping there, unless I'm on American Eagle or at Target. I'm so predictable friend. I'd ask you where your favorite places to shop are because I'm always willing to expand my repertoire.

If we were on a coffee date, you'd fill my soul which is something I didn't even know I needed so desperately. But, friend, you did and, well, thank you from the bottom of my little heart.

31 comments:

  1. Brittany RasmussenApril 11, 2014 at 5:54 AM

    I want a coffee date with you SO BAD

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  2. I love these types of posts. I honestly find it more difficult to open up to people in real life, though, than online - a curse of this generation, perhaps? I tout myself as a non-crier, which is mostly true, but I think it makes being vulnerable extra difficult. I feel as though there is an expectation that not crying means never letting things get to me and well, that just isn't true. I hope your virtual coffee date served its purpose, or at the very least, you get a real life one soon!

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  3. I'd absolutely join you for a coffee date. Of course, I'd absolutely order a latte- hot or cold outside :) Maybe we could split the scone? I love Kristin Schmucker. I'll be praying for you and all of the emotions you are dealing with lately! xoxo

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  4. i don't know what a single format bible looks like, so that's going on my google list for later. also, i have felt this kind of "floating" feeling you seem to be describing above...not knowing why you feel so out of place or emotional or whatever, and it passes, but sometimes you just have to lean into it and ride it out before realizing why it was happening. crappy advice, but it's what i got for you. <3

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  5. I <3 this type of post. It's such a unique way to get out your emotions!

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  6. Brooks @ Cotton &amp; BootsApril 11, 2014 at 7:54 AM

    You're absolutely precious and so humble! I'd love to hear more about the Naptime Diaries.

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  7. I'm down for a coffee date where neither of us drinks coffee -- that sounds like fun friend.

    -Kate
    www.theflorkens.com

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  8. So, for the neighbor's dog poop thing, I wouldn't be afraid to stick a nice sign in my yard. Something like "I don't want to clean up after your dog. You do it." I've also heard that some people use animal chasers, which might be cheaper and less gross than cougar urine.

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  9. Again, thanks for HONESTY. Let's get real. I think I would love a coffee date with you....

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  10. A coffee date with you sounds like an engaging and enriching date, which are of course the best kind. I'd be all about grabbing some coffee with you if I wasn't literally on the opposite side of the country. :)

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  11. theblahblahblahgerApril 11, 2014 at 11:09 AM

    Can we go on a coffee date soon? And by coffee date, I mean wine date. ;)

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  12. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now, I'll be praying for you.

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  13. Dude I'm so stealing this. Well, not your version. ;)

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  14. I love your heart for others and for The Lord. Thank you for being so open; it inspires openness out of myself. Your words make an impact on this girl!

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  15. I take these words very seriously. As in, WHEN? Because wine, sun, most importantly JJ. Expect a little note headed your way in the AM.

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  16. Danica, thank you. Lots on the plate in good, honoring, stretchy ways. And, it brings me joy, though it's got me growing! :)

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  17. Oh Taylor, thank you. Some days I question my purpose behind here and how it'll be later… Or not so later. And comments like yours remind me of why I love this place and the readers and community. :)

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  18. Engaging and enriching. You've made me sound SO DAMN GOOD. Hence, the country should shrink in size so we can easily meet in the Starbucks in between. :)

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  19. Honesty. It's key. And yet, it's hard for me… But I'm learning and that's what counts (or so I tell myself). Let's shrink all the land of the US and have coffee at the corner Starbucks that's between you and me? :)

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  20. I'll email you tomorrow… You would LOVE it. I want to order a couple more just to have on hand because I'm a hoarder of all things journal-esque. :)

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  21. Ok, animal chasers. I searched them and (how immature is this) want one to put outside that I can sit and watch and then laugh when their dogs run away. Yep. Immature.


    I decided to study up on the laws about dogs around here and, well, they shouldn't be out without leashes. So I'm going to be an adult and address it… Then hope things get better and that we can work something out so I'm not nervous to walk my own dog in her neighborhood slash stuck picking up her dog's doo!

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  22. Thank you! I was nervous about posting it because it's trendy right now and I didn't know if it'd seem heartfelt… The response has been LOVELY and makes me think it should be more normal around here! :)

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  23. I'll send you a picture of the bible tomorrow… I'm ridiculously obsessed with it (slash have started carrying it in my purse which makes it SO HEAVY because I can). Jason teases me about my new "love affair".


    And floating is the PERFECT way to put it. I'm trying to lean in, appreciate that it's weird, and sort. Something I can say I haven't done before… It's not easy, which might be why I didn't do it, but it feels rewarding(ish) already.


    your advice is always a favorite.

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  24. SO FREAKING BAD. And followed by cocktails?

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  25. I was nervous about doing this post… That it would be too trendy or weird or bleh… But the response says it's not! Wahoooo for a surprise win! :)


    There is this safety of behind the screen that makes vulnerable easier… Though I hate that's how I feel! Yes, not crying… In my dad being so sick I realized that I'm not as big on crying as I've always thought I was, in that, I don't cry often… But, then when it rains, it pours RIGHT OUT OF MY EYES! :)

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  26. Oh Courtney YES PLEASE. There's something about a table for two and lattes that just… yum. (slash I wish I could do hot coffee on a hot day…) And YES to splitting the scone. Somehow that whole splitting thing seems a little lost these days but there's something SO beautiful to the breaking of bread together. Maybe that's what I will have to start thinking of it as, breaking bread. :)


    Kristin, amazing right? Thank you for prayers, there are SO MANY emotions and I'm enjoying sort of digging into them instead of fearing or ignoring them… Though exhausting, it's also managing to be rewarding and, well, I'm proud of myself!

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  27. I wouldn't call that immature; I'd call that ridiculously entertaining! *sigh* Being an adult sucks, doesn't it? But that will probably give the best results. Good luck!

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  28. I would love to have a coffee date with you! Especially since I might finally remember to order a Shaken Passion Fruit Tea instead of my go to mocha frappe. And I would love to chat about Lent with you :)

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  29. If we were on a coffee date, I'd tell you that you're freaking fabulous. I would confess to you that my divorce has really hit me hard and your writing has kept my spirits high. I'd let you know that since I've started "following" you online, my soul has started to heal because I've rediscovered my faith and wanting to read the Good Book. I would give you a big hug and tell you that you've changed me, so much that I can now feel a different outlook on life. I would thank you for your honesty and hope. If we were on a coffee date, I'd be smiling from ear to ear. Have a good one, kiddo.

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  30. If we were on a coffee date, I'd tell you how freaking fabulous you are and how much you inspire me. I'd confess that my divorce has shattered me and how your faith posts keep me going. I would admit that I'm a tad envious that God placed such a blessing in your life and I wished mine would have stayed. I would tell you that hope doesn't only come from Church but from amazing people such as yourself. If we were on a coffee date, I would give you a hug and thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping my spirits up with your kind words and insightful awareness. So, dearest Amber, thank you, for being you, for being loved, for being a rockstar. Thank you.

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