Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Go ahead and guess.

I watched the entire first season of Orange is the New Black. And I read the book. I hated the book. I loved Cal Chapman, Piper's brother, in the show. Not because he was hot or amazing or Zach Galifianakis-esque. I loved his ability to be different, to embrace the outside, to stand on the edge and say hi to everyone between there and here.

In the final episode Cal said this:
“I’m going to go ahead and guess that one of the issues 
here is your need to say that a person is exactly anything.”
And I died a happy little death of joy inside. He is right. 

The hardest part of life is defining one's self. We're supposed to fit into categories: white, black, short, tall, female, male, wife, husband, straight, gay, athiest, Christian, Muslim, Jewish. All kinds of labels, all specific and boxy. Little bubbles on government forms and test sheets. 

We're much, much more than those names, than those bubbles, those specific labels.

You see, I'm a wife that's loves my husband dearly and believes in the dependence that marriage holds while, simultaneously, believing in the strength and power of women (myself included) in our own lives, marriages, and families. 

I'm a God-lover and Christ-follower who loves tattoos, curse words, and a stiff drink. 

I'm a daughter who happens to be a best friend too. You can call it dependent, awkward, unnatural, but for us it's comfortable, fulfilling, and beautiful.

I'm an office manager at my parent's construction company, not because I'm a mooch or couldn't get any better (like I've been criticized) but because I love and serve my family and, in time, have come to love my job. 

I'm a friend whose gun-shy in large groups of women but longs so genuinely to add to the atmosphere and conversation. 

I'm a sister turned trusted friend who's always got a promise of a good time up my sleeve whether you're 11, 22 or 33. 

I'm a writer who's like everyone else and wants to write a book while, like no one else, will admit that I haven't got the slightest inkling what I've got worth saying in more than 300 words or where I'd start. 

I'm a runner who enjoys distance, but not too much. Miles are soothing, but too many is taxing and, well, no thanks.

I'm a dog-owner who knows my dog is just a dog, but who also worries that she's too cold or too hot when I leave her home all day while I'm at work. 

I'm a shopper who loves clothes, shoes, and other things, but who owns a home and now can't buy things outside our budget and, weirdly, that's good with me (DAMN IT). 

Turns out, I'm so much more than any label, box, or blank. And this just barely scratches the surface. I'm not just nothing, but I'm also not just anything. It seems I'm a little bit of everything. 

27 comments:

  1. ONLY YOU WOULD FIND A BRILLIANT LIFE LESSON FROM THAT TERRIBLE SHOW.

    <3

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  2. Posts like this make me want a like or favorite button for blogs. I have nothing to add but I loved what you had to say :)

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  3. And that's a beautiful thing. I'm SO glad to read this and know that someone else feels this way too. Being from two entirely different cultures, I always checked the "other" box when it came to race. In life, I keep checking that "other" box, because, really, I don't fit a mold.I love the fact that you're so accepting of who you and what you're evolving to be. LOVE YOU for it!!!!

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  4. this is amazing. i think we're all a little bit of everything; that's what makes us all unique.

    -kathy | Vodka and Soda

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  5. Brooks @ Cotton &amp; BootsMarch 19, 2014 at 7:12 AM

    I have no words to describe how much I love this. How do you do it?! HOW!?

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  6. Ashten's comment!! Haha. I haven't seen the show, but you can definitely turn just about anything into a life lesson! But yes, I am a mutt in oh so many ways!

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  7. Love this!!!! Especially your gun-shy comment. That reflects me to a tee. What gorgeous honesty! :)

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  8. I've never seen that show, but I COULDN'T AGREE MORE. I think it makes people happy when they can classify other people into their own categories but you are so right. We are way more than a category. We are all PEOPLE with amazing characteristics and differences and quirks and things that make us all beautiful in our own way.

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  9. I love that show. And I love that somehow, you took this from it.

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  10. theblahblahblahgerMarch 19, 2014 at 10:17 AM

    You're a conundrum...which, might I say, is a pretty fine wine? :-)

    My sisty is the office manager for our family company and get's the same criticisms...lay off peeps!

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  11. I absolutely love how you find these life lessons in everything that you do and see!

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  12. Hated the book, loved the show! The hubs and I watched together and can't wait for the second season to come out. It's funny and crude and marvelously crass! As for the brother--and what he said--I've struggled so much since we moved to this baby little town with my "category." My "label." Hell, who am I kidding--since I lost the title "student" six years ago, I've struggled with my label. But like you--I am so much more than a label or a box! This was such a great post!

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  13. I am the same. I feel like I'm a little bit of everything too. I love the part about your dog, becuase those are my thoughts all day at work.

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  14. I love that show! :D Also, I do think that we always try to make things fit into these magical little boxes when in reality life isn't that neat or that black and white. Life is filled with grey areas and life is messy. We're people, we don't fit into neat little boxes. :) I love this post! :D

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  15. This is such a genuine and wonderful post. You are so real and that's so hard to find these days. Thank you sweet girl!

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  16. I had to do everything in my power to redeem it for you. Just WAIT for Season 2.

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  17. Double click for the heart. :) I am so complimented by your sweetness ESPECIALLY because I've had those very same sentiments!

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  18. Isn't it hard to have SO MUCH inside of you and be asked to pick bits and pieces? Sometimes it's fun to be one thing versus another, but often I just want to enjoy being a little bit of everything!

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  19. A mutt. LOVE. So mutty. Not to be confused with smutty.

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  20. Depending who you ask the show rocks or kicks rocks, either way I needed the inspiration and it gave! :) I think you are SO RIGHT that there's a comfort in putting someone (especially a stranger) into a specific category and apply certain traits to them… But we're all so damn different that we seem to limit ourselves in doing that!

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  21. Why do people care who you're managing for!?!? Tell Sisty hi and give her a fist bump from a fellow OM.


    Also, fine wine = me. YES. Cheers. Shall I tell people to befriend me responsibly? :D

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  22. *FIST PUMP for a fellow fan* Because, there's some people who hate the show and I just can't understand that!

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  23. HATED the book. Why was it so terrible? And I'm such a book lover too!


    What is it about small towns that makes labels so vital and yet so difficult? We live in the small town that I grew up in, so breaking from the labels that were SO me in high school (almost ten years ago now) is quite a challenge. And that's hard for me to come to terms with!

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  24. Thank you for making me feel a little less insane. I hate that I spoil her so, but I just can't help myself!

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  25. I so concur. It's comfortable to have boxes and put people in them. And when there isn't a place for someone to fit things get "stuck" of sorts while you're trying desperately to put them somewhere. :)

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  26. Oh Amanda you warm my heart in the deepest, coldest parts. :)

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  27. Exactly!!! We change our minds as often as we change clothes. Why not embrace loving EVERYTHING!!!

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