Wednesday, March 5, 2014

And in doing so, you came alive. [Marriage Letters]

Last month I wrote the first of my marriage letters. But I wrote it late. So this, the second marriage letter, is going to come close on the tail of the first. I promise they won't be so near to one another next time... It just so happens I jumped on the bandwagon late (just like Hunger Games, Twilight, and Pokemon).

These letters are the brainchild of Amber C. Haines and her husband, Seth. They write to remind themselves of points in their marriage, of moments in their relationship, and of their perspective of one another. I write for the same reasons, plus the chance for these letters to shed light on our marriage before children for our children because they won't know us as newlyweds otherwise.

This month we write about "What Makes You Come Alive".
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Dear Jason,

You smell like fresh cut pine lately. Like stain brushed smoothly over the wooden masterpiece you're so dedicated to creating. You smell like layers of paint over the lovely legs of our farm table. You smell like doing.

I remember standing just outside the doors of your lecture hall, awaiting your smiley face, when one of your friends stopped to tell me how lucky I was to have you. Never did I question that fact. He said, "Amber, Jason's a go-doer. Not a getter, he's not seeking more, he's looking where he can do what needs to be done." I smiled, agreed, greeted you. And him and I, we let that secret accolade be just that: secret. Because you didn't need us to tell you how much you love to do things.

Then we wed. Dad got sick. And I cried. I cry. Lots. In those moments when I melt to tears, you stop, halt, become still. Emotional, unruly tears fill all the space between us and haunt your ability to do. You burn inside with the desire to do whatever it takes to stop the sadness and the flood of salty drops. To do that one thing that'll set the world right, restore balance and refresh my usually giddy soul.

Doing. It brings life into you vibrantly and beautifully. Beautiful in a handsome, masculine way, my dear.

I thought homeownership would feel stressful, financially challenging, scary. Instead, it feels like a To Do list. And, in the way marriage brings together two, I'm enjoying ticking off the tasks with you. You've taught me the glory in doing, the reward in being done, and the challenge of always seeking what's next.

And, if I'm honest, I can't wait to watch you do fatherhood. You will do it so much justice. And you will bloom a little further just like those roses you're building planter boxes for. You will be pruned by a child's will and yet, you will flourish.

You flourish because of the way you come alive as a go-doer.

Love for you and all you do,


  1. Did Jason make that table??? GORGEOUS!

    Also- I love this. I love you guys. Amazing letter.

  2. Brooks - The Handey WayMarch 5, 2014 at 6:26 AM

    I know this is the only second letter, but I hope you're actually writing them down, too. What an amazing book it would make.

  3. Great letter, thanks for sharing!

  4. That table is amazing!! It sounds like your husband is really gifted!

  5. this is beautiful!

    and did your hubby make that table?

    -kathy | Vodka and Soda

  6. Katie @ A Beautiful Little AdvMarch 5, 2014 at 8:33 AM

    there you go again - stringing words into beauty! I so still want to join in on these marriage letters!

  7. This was beautiful. How lucky that you and your husband have each other. It is so amazing that you guys don't forget that you need to continue to cherish each other and reflect why you love each other so much :)

  8. Wonderful that you see and appreciate him for who he is. :)

  9. He did! It's modeled after the one my parents have and I grew up eating on.. Now my kids get to do the same!

  10. Girl, I hadn't even thought of writing them down. But I have this pretty little book I haven't used for anything that NEEDS these in it. You are a God-send.

  11. He is such a special man... And he made that table which just blows my mind! :) I'll stick to cooking dinner and sweeping! :)

  12. He did make it to be a remake of the one that my parents have at their house... And it warms my heart to think our kids will eat off a table just like the one that I did growing up. :) Yep, I'm totally sentimental like that!

  13. Marriage is awesome. Though, had you asked us how fun it was on Tuesday we would have both laughed and said spare yourself. It's not always flowery and fun, but it is so worth it 99.7% of the time! :)

  14. Thank you Jamie. He's special and some days I don't remember that so well but this will help with that!

  15. So lucky Krystal, so lucky. Sometimes we do forget how lucky, but just momentarily until the other one reminds us! :)

  16. Oh Lena, thank you. Your comments ALWAYS lift my soul and remind me why I'm here doing this dang thang every week. :) Please join in the marriage letters, you'll be so wonderful at them!

  17. That table is great!!! So cool.

  18. jenn @ The Lemonade ConnectionMarch 8, 2014 at 10:51 AM

    "You burn inside with the desire to do whatever it takes to stop the
    sadness and the flood of salty drops. To do that one thing that'll set
    the world right, restore balance and refresh my usually giddy soul." if words were food...I am entirely satiated! that line is worth a million bucks! lovely. lovely. lovely!

  19. Of course I got teary eyed when you talked about him being there for you when your dad got sick an how you still cry. Chris and I were just talking last night about a specific year and a half of big trials in our life that brought us so much closer together, and it's just more evident to us how God makes good out of the bad. I love these letters! And way to go on that table, Jason! Can't wait to see it when it's done!

  20. Jenn, you made my day with this. MADE. MY. DAY. There's something about knowing that words make something more than just a sentence that is pure magic to me and the fact that someone else can feel them warms my soul. :)

  21. Ya'lls marriage is adorable. It's so sweet how you so beautifully turn this hectic moment into a memory that you can treasure forever! I agree with Brooks - definitely write these down! Save them for a rainy day or a tough fight/discussion and it will remind you what really matters in ya'lls relationship. Goodness girl your sweet blog posts are winning my heart! Only wishing I'd found you sooner!


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