Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The Eight Stages Of Internet Disconnectivity

Anyone who follows me on Twitter has heard the plight of my poor and spotty internet service at work. One of every five work days starts with that doomed little triangle warning sign in the bottom left corner of my computer screen alerting me to the lack of connectivity to the outside world. No amount of coffee can make that damned yellow shape better.

I'd love to rant about how much I hate our Internet Service Provider (because I do, oh, so deeply), but that's not very funny. So, instead, I shall share the stages of internet FORCED internet withdrawal. Because an analog weekend is doable, but twelve hours at work with no internet and no prospective restoration of service can drive a girl batty.

Stage 1: Optimistic Denial
It's okay, people lived without the internet for centuries so I can manage. Except I can't email or fill out release forms or check the required wages. I guess filing is fun.

Stage 2: Devastated Realization
Wait, the internet isn't coming back on? Not now, not for hours, maybe not even by tomorrow?


Stage 3: Unprecidented Neediness
Anyone and everyone in the near vicinity must hang out and distract you from the mess at hand. We're all suffering here in Internetless Land so let's do this as a team effort like those Chilean minors did.

Stage 4: Bitter Frustration
Only solved by head banging and cursing words at the top of your lungs in the direction of your Internet accessible devices.

Stage 5: Utter Disregard 
Any and all expectations from your work place are now irrelevant. You no longer give two shits. Or even one shit. Because, really, how could this happen to you on Monday after a four day, holiday weekend? Nope, not one shit given.

Stage 6: Annoyed Intensity
Call technical support over and over and over again until someone has an answer even if the answer is pathetic at best. Say thanks, hang up, repeat fifteen minutes later. Admit to calling every fifteen minutes to every single technical support representative that happens to cross your rage-filled path.

Stage 7: Outrageous Anger
Call technical support and yell about lack of service. Innocent employee enters office, bite his head off just because you can. Snap at UPS man for STILL not knowing your name when you sign for deliveries. Then tweet angry tweets about said Internet Service Provider. Email from cell phone with mean words. Basically be mad at ALL. THE. THINGS.

Stage 8: Resigned Irritation
When all other stages don't work -and they're surely bound to fail you- just rest your face in your palm and nap. What better way to restore your energy after the emotional exhaustion of the day?

But for real, it took over 12 hours for our phones and internet to be restored. I called to check on the status of our account every two hours like the truly crazy Internet-less office manager that I was. Thank goodness I can go home to a reliable connection.

Don't dogs make everything better? At least that's what Hazel told me.

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And now to enjoy introducing you to my lovely new friend and fellow coffee lover, Tabitha from Wandering Java Lover. I'd love to do all the talking here, but girl's adorable and will do the best job herself! 



Hey there! I’m Tabitha and I blog over at Wandering Java Lover. I’m a 30-something caffeine addicted housewife and fur mama from Canada.  A wannabe world traveller, aspiring runner, fashion and beauty enthusiast and a BIG Disney geek.  I think of my blog as a diary where I can record the things, ALL the things that are important to me.  WJL has also become my confident, recipe book, travel diary and my photo album.  I feel so blessed to be able to share it with you and the amazing community of people it has created for me.  Come on over and join me for pot of coffee or a bottle of wine (because one glass is never enough)!

In the spirit of Christmas and the upcoming #12daysofChristmas series, I asked Tabitha to share one of her favorite Christmas traditions. 

My favourite Christmas tradition is so easy to pick out.  Christmas has always been a big deal in our family.  There is always so much hustle and bustle before Christmas and prep work to be done.  On Christmas Eve, my mom would have everything ready to go that she could for the big day.  So, we got to relax and enjoy the evening together.  We were allowed to open one present on Christmas Eve.  Always the same one, our Christmas pajama’s.  We would get all snug on the couch together in our new jammies.  Order a pizza.  Read our 1st Christmas books.  Mine was The Night Before Christmas and my sister’s was Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer.  Then we would watch Scrooge : A Christmas Carol(only the 1951 version).  My mom passed away in 2007, so my sister and I buy each other’s Christmas pajamas now.  It is still the only Christmas Eve present we are allowed to open, Alistar Sim is the true Ebenser Scrooge and we’ll be keeping this tradition again and again, year after year. 

14 comments:

  1. bahahahaha. thank god i don't have to deal with internet issues very often. i would go crazy!

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  2. I really need to teach my dog how to dance like numero uno. But he just barely learned how to get on the bed by himself. :(

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  3. Not having internet is the worst! I could basically do nothing at work if we didn't have internet. So I'd be asking to go home...haha


    P.S. All the dog gifs=hilarious

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  4. A)You are SPOT on with the stages hahah and B) I love Tabitha!!!!

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  5. Katie @ A Beautiful Little AdvDecember 4, 2013 at 8:57 AM

    oh man, that sounds brutal. I would hate going into work knowing I wouldn't be able to distract myself every 30 minutes with blogs, facebook, or twitter (not to mention actually do my job) Um also, can I steal that little white puppy from number 6?

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  6. Hahaha I'm dying at these GIFs! I'd have to say this is pretty accurate!

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  7. Thanks, Amber! You are the sweetest.


    Not having internet is exactly like this. I love those gifs!

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  8. This sounds like me and my entire team at work when the server goes down for hours at a time. We all sit on our phones, then eventually someone steers the conversation toward a topic that would make HR cringe.


    Also, I loved reading about everyone's Christmas traditions so thank you to Tabitha for sharing! It lets me celebrate Christmas vicariously through all of you!

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  9. Literally felt the exact same way with the whole iphone in toilet incident.. haha. SAME.

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  10. Kristen SeuberlingDecember 4, 2013 at 8:17 PM

    I can totally relate to this...I work between 2 offices, and one of them has the WORST issues with internet service. It is downright miserable 85% of the time. I hope the rest of the week goes much better!

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  11. HAHAHA My husband and I were dying of laughter over this post. LOVE IT and SO true.

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  12. I love all the gifs! It made my night!
    agirlandhersparkles.blogspot.com

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  13. This may be the ONE thing that dogs can't fix. :( WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!

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