Thursday, November 7, 2013

Thanks-living: The Drain is Clogged.

This is a post in the Thanks-Living series on Mr. Thomas and Me. It is a part of Chasing Happy's #thankfulproject. Should you care to join, you can find the prompts here
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It's raining lots in my offline, not-so-bloggy life lately. Not bad rain, just lots of rain, unexpected, wild, torrential rain full of watery goodness. It's refreshing and lovely -like most rain can be-, but there's no drain to stop me from getting all puffy and liquid-logged.

This overwatering consumes my mind and blocks my writing.

The rain looks like numbers and stats, like changes at work, like searching for a new home, like reading, reading, reading, like filling my calendar with lots of social things, like stress that keeps me up at night and preoccupied during the day. It's rain I'm not complaining about because I've always loved the rain.

But, when rain doesn't drain, I lose my shape. Like a sponge I get all engorged and eventually stinky. And lately, this content, feels engorged and stinky.

My job here, as blogger, writer, Mrs. T, is to deliver original, interesting, heartfelt content. My job in all of life, as Amber, Mrs. T, daughter of Him, is to deliver original, interesting, heartfelt content that glories Him. As of late, I've moved these two jobs in opposite directions because I want to be what you want to read. And that is where the drain was clogged.

The drain is filled with what I think you want, with the numbers that reflect your presence (or lack thereof), with stress over what's next. And, while your comments and page views bring me happiness, they don't bring me deep joy. 

I'm all wrinkled and soft like water-logging does. And my writing is growing to be the same. But, I've noticed it. Oh yes I have. That awareness comes with a realization that I must do my job not the job that others are doing. That in doing my job I'm different. And different is okay, is good, is me.

So, over the next few weeks I'll be unclogging the drain, wringing out my soaked self, and writing about what weighs on my heart. Not just about what you want, because, at the end of the day, it's not about you, it's about me. And Him. And us in His love. 

I'll be here, writing, present because, I believe, that's the best way to celebrate the rain: in the presence of others who are experiencing the same. And then when the sun breaks through those clouds it shall dry a bit and we'll celebrate that too. Because that's what we're working to be skilled at: celebrating our present circumstance.

16 comments:

  1. I love you, and I know we've talked about this a lot in offline. Know that you are accepted, loved and forgiven when you neglect your blog life. Get back to the basics, like we've talked about and remember that you need to fix your personal life first. YOU ARE LOVED.

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  2. We will all be here with you girly! I can definitely relate to you right now. So much rain but nothing is draining, only making an ocean it feels like. You do what is best for you and we will all be here when you get back :)

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  3. i feel like i need an online date with you ASAP. for so many reasons, this rainy time being one of them. there is a lot of rain in my life right now and i need an umbrella for it, and i don't think i'm looking for it in the right place.

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  4. You need to do what is right for you. We will all be here to supporting whatever is best for you. As we know that you have an amazing heart and would do the same in return. Take time, unclog the drain and know that you will be in hearts and prayers as you do.

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  5. "Not just about what you want, because, at the end of the day, it's not about you, it's about me. And Him. And us in His love. " I love this. Amber you are such a talented writer and a amazing person!! I agree with Ashten, you are totally loved!

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  6. I don't think I have any words to express how I feel about this except that it gives me comfort, having a reminder that He knows exactly how to unclog the drain. We love you know matter how dedicated you are to your blog from day to day! You have to do what's right for you so you can feel the deep joy.

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  7. Every sentence I read I said "YES!" "YES!" "YES!" I hope that you understand what they mean (and no, not that naughty sounding shampoo commercial!) I'm definitely trying to change the direction of my blog right now as well. We should chat. xoxo

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  8. Kathy@Vodka and SodaNovember 8, 2013 at 5:42 AM

    do you thang, girl. we will always be here for you! i haven't blogged all week either (barely) and that's because i've been enjoying reading everyone else's thoughts and commenting that i have no more energy for my own!

    -kathy @ Vodka and Soda

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  9. ASAP sounds good to me. Especially because I owe you an email and have fallen deeply behind! My hopes to get my head back above water tomorrow... That said, keep an eye on your inbox! :)

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  10. Yes let's chat. Yes please. It seems we have a running list of NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT topics. I'll email you. :)

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  11. Why is it SOOOO easy some days and near impossible others? Last week felt dry and uninspired, this one feels lovely and exciting... Maybe it's the three day weekend that should ALWAYS be the case!?!

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  12. Monica, comfort makes me happy. That means it resonates with you and that makes my heart so happy. We're on the same page and I'm not alone. Sometimes simply knowing that helps me resolve.

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  13. Hearing take time makes me feel so great. The community here at Mr. T and Me is phenomenal. And how it fills my weary soul. Oh how it does. Thank you Tabitha!

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  14. Only making an ocean, it feels like. That is PRECISELY my feeling. There's no drain AND no life preserver so I'm paddling furiously. Oh my weary soul.

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  15. Basically, you're a lovie. And that changes my day every day.

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