Thursday, October 31, 2013

I'm Genetically Predisposed to Torture Dear Ones on Halloween.

I like costumes. A lot. Dressing up as someone else, who doesn't love it? THIS GIRL DOES.

I realize I got the costume loving skills from my mom. Or from my coming of age when she could no longer pick out the sweet get-ups she wanted me to sport. And, sometimes, my brother too.

You're welcome. Why? I did you all a favor and pulled together the greatest of Halloween costumes for you.
 
A weepy lion. The hottest in 1990's childhood Halloween trends. Just putting the cowardly lion out of business over here. (PLEASE NOTE: Lions are boy felines. BOYS. So, my mom did what every mom does, she made my costume feminine but adding flowers. You know, life's good when you #justaddflowers)

 

A joker, jester, professional silly man of sorts. Not to be confused with a funny person who makes jokes. Or a clown. This is a court jester of sorts. Because why dress your daughter as the queen when she can be the jester?!?

A tree. Or pair of trees. Complete with clothesline. Thank you Martha Stewart. This must be where my disdain for you and your over-the-top empire was born.

If all the childhood costume suffering wasn't enough, I grew up and realized my genetic predisposition to incorporate torturous costumes for ALL PEOPLE, but mostly for Jason.

Like the one time we were Charlotte and Wilbur and he wore a HIDEOUS pig nose and XXL girl's (as in children's) pink workout shorts.

Or when he had to take a pregnant chick to a frat party... Even though I WASN'T ACTUALLY PREGNANT. Two of the guys very sweetly offered to take me home so the baby didn't get second hand smoke.

Or when I painted our hair blue and teased it high as Heaven to play the role of Thing 1 and Thing 2 for a Dynamic Duo party. That is ENTIRELY our hair.

Or when we wore matching women's flannel pajamas to a Walk of Shame shin-dig. This girl WAS NOT about to run around in some lingerie or Tom Cruise Risky Business gear.

All this to say: MY KIDS ARE DOOMED
Mostly because this genetic gift has been realized and will, upon the birth of children, be capitalized. 

17 comments:

  1. Girl I am the SAME way! I absolutely love Halloween and you better believe I will still dress up even though i'm 22! My kids are doomed as well :)

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  2. Kathy@Vodka and SodaOctober 31, 2013 at 7:08 AM

    i love the thing 1 and thing 2 costume!
    happy halloween!


    -kathy Vodka and Soda

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  3. Mister Man and i went as elmer fudd and bugs bunny last year. it's the only couples costume i have been able to get him into, because he got to dress in his hunting gear. so worth it!

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  4. hahah cutest lion ever! And the pair of trees cracks me up- thats definitely like something my mom would have made me do!

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  5. Katie @ A Beautiful Little AdvOctober 31, 2013 at 7:37 AM

    hehe I can't stop laughing at the pair of trees with the clothes line!! Too funny! You were a very cute lion and jester though :) I can't wait to have kids! Happy Halloween!

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  6. You two seriously crack me up!!!!! Did that blue come right out of your hair or what? I sprayed my hair orange one halloween and I was rocking orange roots until my mom finally took me to the salon to fix it. whooooopsies.

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  7. I love all of your costumes ! I wish Halloween was more famous in France. I only got the chance to be a witch and this day is dissapearing over here ! Too bad ! Happy Halloween ;)

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  8. Why are they SO MUCH FUN?!? Good thing Jason is so flexible with all my shenanigans! :)

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  9. Happy Halloween Kathy! (Those are my favorite costumes too...)

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  10. I LOVE Elmer Fudd and Bugs. LOVE! Mostly because that was one of my favorite cartoons as a kid...

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  11. FIVE WASHES. I used half a bottle of shampoo. And, I died the bottom of my white tub. I was stressed. But, it worked... The tangles from all the teasing was the worst part of the MESS. (Also, why was your hair orange!?!)

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  12. Girl, I love Halloween. Mostly because I think it's so fun to dress up in absurd outfits. I can't ever go for the obvious stuff like a runner or a jazzercizer... It's got to be something INTERESTING! :)

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  13. That was all my mom. CAN YOU BELIEVE WE LET HER DO THAT?!? I still can't.

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  14. I literally don't know how she convinced us to do that. AT ALL. She must be some magical fairy or something. :)

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  15. Haha I love these costumes! :) You have to have fun with it. There aren't that many opportunities where you can go as crazy as you want with what you wear. :) Also, you have to dress your kids up in embarrassing costumes. It's their rite of passage. haha

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  16. Love these!! The weepy lion might be the cutest thing ever.

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  17. I love that he puts up with your torture! My husband refuses to wear any costume other than his beloved bear costume. Any other cute ideas I might come up with aren't even an option! :P

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