Thursday, October 31, 2013

I'm Genetically Predisposed to Torture Dear Ones on Halloween.

I like costumes. A lot. Dressing up as someone else, who doesn't love it? THIS GIRL DOES.

I realize I got the costume loving skills from my mom. Or from my coming of age when she could no longer pick out the sweet get-ups she wanted me to sport. And, sometimes, my brother too.

You're welcome. Why? I did you all a favor and pulled together the greatest of Halloween costumes for you.
A weepy lion. The hottest in 1990's childhood Halloween trends. Just putting the cowardly lion out of business over here. (PLEASE NOTE: Lions are boy felines. BOYS. So, my mom did what every mom does, she made my costume feminine but adding flowers. You know, life's good when you #justaddflowers)


A joker, jester, professional silly man of sorts. Not to be confused with a funny person who makes jokes. Or a clown. This is a court jester of sorts. Because why dress your daughter as the queen when she can be the jester?!?

A tree. Or pair of trees. Complete with clothesline. Thank you Martha Stewart. This must be where my disdain for you and your over-the-top empire was born.

If all the childhood costume suffering wasn't enough, I grew up and realized my genetic predisposition to incorporate torturous costumes for ALL PEOPLE, but mostly for Jason.

Like the one time we were Charlotte and Wilbur and he wore a HIDEOUS pig nose and XXL girl's (as in children's) pink workout shorts.

Or when he had to take a pregnant chick to a frat party... Even though I WASN'T ACTUALLY PREGNANT. Two of the guys very sweetly offered to take me home so the baby didn't get second hand smoke.

Or when I painted our hair blue and teased it high as Heaven to play the role of Thing 1 and Thing 2 for a Dynamic Duo party. That is ENTIRELY our hair.

Or when we wore matching women's flannel pajamas to a Walk of Shame shin-dig. This girl WAS NOT about to run around in some lingerie or Tom Cruise Risky Business gear.

All this to say: MY KIDS ARE DOOMED
Mostly because this genetic gift has been realized and will, upon the birth of children, be capitalized. 


  1. Girl I am the SAME way! I absolutely love Halloween and you better believe I will still dress up even though i'm 22! My kids are doomed as well :)

  2. Kathy@Vodka and SodaOctober 31, 2013 at 7:08 AM

    i love the thing 1 and thing 2 costume!
    happy halloween!

    -kathy Vodka and Soda

  3. Mister Man and i went as elmer fudd and bugs bunny last year. it's the only couples costume i have been able to get him into, because he got to dress in his hunting gear. so worth it!

  4. hahah cutest lion ever! And the pair of trees cracks me up- thats definitely like something my mom would have made me do!

  5. Katie @ A Beautiful Little AdvOctober 31, 2013 at 7:37 AM

    hehe I can't stop laughing at the pair of trees with the clothes line!! Too funny! You were a very cute lion and jester though :) I can't wait to have kids! Happy Halloween!

  6. You two seriously crack me up!!!!! Did that blue come right out of your hair or what? I sprayed my hair orange one halloween and I was rocking orange roots until my mom finally took me to the salon to fix it. whooooopsies.

  7. I love all of your costumes ! I wish Halloween was more famous in France. I only got the chance to be a witch and this day is dissapearing over here ! Too bad ! Happy Halloween ;)

  8. Why are they SO MUCH FUN?!? Good thing Jason is so flexible with all my shenanigans! :)

  9. Happy Halloween Kathy! (Those are my favorite costumes too...)

  10. I LOVE Elmer Fudd and Bugs. LOVE! Mostly because that was one of my favorite cartoons as a kid...

  11. FIVE WASHES. I used half a bottle of shampoo. And, I died the bottom of my white tub. I was stressed. But, it worked... The tangles from all the teasing was the worst part of the MESS. (Also, why was your hair orange!?!)

  12. Girl, I love Halloween. Mostly because I think it's so fun to dress up in absurd outfits. I can't ever go for the obvious stuff like a runner or a jazzercizer... It's got to be something INTERESTING! :)

  13. That was all my mom. CAN YOU BELIEVE WE LET HER DO THAT?!? I still can't.

  14. I literally don't know how she convinced us to do that. AT ALL. She must be some magical fairy or something. :)

  15. Haha I love these costumes! :) You have to have fun with it. There aren't that many opportunities where you can go as crazy as you want with what you wear. :) Also, you have to dress your kids up in embarrassing costumes. It's their rite of passage. haha

  16. Love these!! The weepy lion might be the cutest thing ever.

  17. I love that he puts up with your torture! My husband refuses to wear any costume other than his beloved bear costume. Any other cute ideas I might come up with aren't even an option! :P


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