Monday, October 28, 2013

I am her.

Once, not that long ago, I told myself people were inherently good. That we had compasses pointing us in the direction of goodness -be it for ourselves, for others, for the general welfare.

Then, I remembered, we're broken people. All of us. A bit cracked and chipped in little and big ways. Though we're broken, we have an innate ability to seek goodness in most things -tiny or triumphant. But, like Eve, that very first woman, we can't turn our eye from the shiny apple that pesky Serpent pointed out.

"But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the Serpent's cunning 
your minds may somehow be led astray from your 
sincere and pure devotion to Christ." 
-2 Corinthians 11:3

Instead of pointing fingers and placing the blame on Eve, we must realize we are her. 
I am her.

Last week I wrote about the funk I was in. The way I felt tired and ragged and like a raw, unhealthy wound. It felt like life was taking salt and rubbing it deep down in that exposed and uncomfortable flesh. I turned to that little broken part of me and felt like Eve with a serpent breathing down my neck telling me control of every situation would make me better. More comfortable. More joyed.

I laid awake at night running through "what ifs", playing out dozens of scenarios, moving the cards around one by one. And it didn't birth beautiful joy in me. It grew a deeply bitter, seriously stressed, downright mad woman who's focus was on her unsavory circumstances. Not a focus on her gracious God, her challenging and fruitful job, her beautiful little family.

It left me wondering what it took to have it all. Just as Eve did as she looked upon that forbidden fruit. What's it like, God, to have a dream house, a dream job, a lovely life filled with nothing but joy? And that sneaky Serpent, he said, "It looks like control, like pursuing your dreams with reckless abandon, like listening to me, not Him."

I heard him -the Serpent. And I contemplated his truth. Like Eve, I entertained those thoughts.

I am her. 

But, He's grace-filled. And He has redeemed us. Given us purpose. Pushed us in a new and good direction. So despite my flesh, despite my susceptibility, despite my denial, He's got my back.

Nothing like a weekend to refresh and refocus me. This week I give up my work stressors to Him. I relinquish my moods and cling to His joy. I bask in His grace and power in lieu of my deep fleshy desire to chase control.

I am her. But He is greater than me. 

5 comments:

  1. GET OUT OF THAT FUNK I'M COMING HOME IN 4 DAYS!

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  2. This. I was to print it out and fold it up and put it in my bible to read over and over again when I have funky days. You have such a way with words, my friend!!

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  3. Oh Jess, you encourage my heart and warm my soul. These days have been more common for me lately and that's so sad for me! :)

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  4. I agree with Jess, Amber. I'm printing this post right now. You will never, ever understand how you touch and change my heart in your writing my dear friend!

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  5. I love this. It is such a great perspective and reminds us that we all have that "something" that causes us to get in a funk! Love that last line! SO thankful that He is greater.

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