Monday, October 21, 2013

Haters gonna Hate. And so am I.

The atheist boy that sat next to me in high school once said, "Amber, you've been a Christian for so long that you don't know what it's like to truly hate things/people/places in this world." 
At the time, I had nothing.
So I said, "Um, well, I hate things." 
And he said, "Ok, Amber, what do you hate?" 
And I had nothing.

Not for lack of hate, but for lack of response to a boy who had previously no interest in talking to me. Now I realize my answer should have been, "I hate when someone never talks to me and then when they do it's such a surprise I can come up with nothing to say!" 

I've spent the last five years noticing those moments when I really do hate things/people/places. And then, over the weekend I ran a half marathon FULL OF HILLS with my mom and that gave me lots of time to be filled with hate.

Today, I share my hates. 
(Wait, really this chick's about to blog about hating -yes, the answer is yes.) 

TRADER JOE'S. Not the store, but the hullabaloo that is getting parked and into the store then back out to the car alive with groceries in tow. Big store. Small lot. WHO THE HELL PLANS THIS SHIT?

The numbering system at House of Fabric in order to get your fabric cut. I always end up behind the lady who's cart is brimming over with 52 bolts of hard to cut fabric. THIS IS NOT THE DMV, THUS I CANNOT BLAME THE HOLD-UP ON GOVERNMENT WORKERS. 

In the tune of cars: drivers who are entitled to be in front of you regardless of how close they merge to your grill. WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT OF WAY EVERY TIME? 

The man I ran next to with his entire collection of car and house keys, $4.87 in change, and a water pack that sounded like the crash tide every time we ran downhill. SIR, IF I WANTED TO RUN NEXT TO A PIGGY BANK I WOULD HAVE BROUGHT ONE!!! 

Bloggers who judge other bloggers. Or people who judge people for blogging. Or people who judge other people for doing what gives them a feeling of purpose and is a passion. AHEM, MARTHA STEWART. 

Judgey faces from old people when you're out to breakfast at the same place of them and you're stinky from running thirteen hilly miles and they've been at church. MA'AM, I'M NOT ALWAYS THIS STINKY, BUT WHEN I AM I EXPECT GRACE.

Candy Crush requests. SERIOUSLY, I'VE DENIED THIS 30 TIMES. I DON'T CARE HOW MANY HOURS YOU'VE SPENT TRYING TO BEAT LEVEL 91; GET A NEW HOBBY. 
And, that is enough hate for the day. Actually, for the month.

We all get the way this is facetious. If you don't, please email me. Or don't, because I hate someone without a sense of humor. Really though. 

14 comments:

  1. The Whole Foods parking lot is the same as Trader Joes- it brings out serious anger in me!!

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  2. Totally can't stand the Candy Crush requests- I don't even play! Also the birthday requests on Facebook and whatever else fad game!

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  3. I recently discovered some of the judgement going on in the blogging world or about the blogging world and I'm right there with you. I hate it!

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  4. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    This is me, dying over this.

    11 days!

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  5. hahaha i love that someone asked you that question with a straight face. also, jingly pockets would have gotten slide tackled around mile 4 if it were me running next to him...

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  6. Kathy@Vodka and SodaOctober 21, 2013 at 7:40 AM

    don't even get me started with bad parking; i live in a city where BAD DRIVERS COME OUT IN DROVES SO THERE'S NO ESCAPING AND THEY DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYONE OR ANYTHING. so yeah, i get that.

    and THE ANGRY PANDA ROCKS MY WORLD. that is the best commercial ever! did you see the one where he trashes a guy's desk at the office? BEST because i want to do that all day, errday.



    this post made my day. i love a good rant!


    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  7. I absolutely LOVE that you wrote this post. You dear are amazing!

    And yeah what is it with people that give you nasty looks when you're sweaty? I ate hills for breakfast. Judge yourself!

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  8. You forgot to mention the hatred for the hills-hills-HILLS! And the waterman who was regulating on cup usage. Hey Mister. I hate you and your conservation of cups at mile 11.4 with 1.7 hilly ass miles left. Your drag yourself that far & I bet you will need more than 2 half full cups of H2O.

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  9. OMG! I hate the candy crush requests!!! I don't want to play that stupid game! Oh and congrats on doing you half!

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  10. I'll admit...I was a candy crush addict. But I never connected it to facebook and I never asked people to give me lives. I just struggle silently with my addiction. But I'm free of it now! loved the post friend!

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  11. SASSY AMBER JUST MADE MY DAY! I honestly, truly, seriously love this post. It's nice to see that a women with such strong faith can be confident with their words and profess her hate ... it's such a REAL, true emotion for some things - and you've just proven that going to church doesn't make you a Christian, just like standing in a garage doesn't make you a car. You're a good, real, true person ... you're my kind of people! Plus, you shared Darla, so you just went up 10 points in my Favorite People Book. Just kidding, I don't have that, just a Burn Book. Just kidding. Maybe.

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  12. Oh Alfalfa you're so silly. Darla's my girl and the original Queen of Sass in my book... Especially since I was a tomboy and didn't know tutus and attitude could coexist! :)

    Girl, so much hate to go around. More love for sure, but so many UGH I WILL STRANGLE YOU ALL emotions.

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  13. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh.my.freaking.gosh. Blasting this all over the interwebs subject immediately. My favorite post of yours hands down!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  14. TRADER JOE'S! You're so right. Trying to enter or exit one of the parking lots of the ones here in Chicago is certainly a trial of my compassion. It's hard to love people who are honking, cutting each other off, and flipping people off at perceived parking place stealing.

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