Thursday, September 26, 2013

Moral of the Story: I'm kissing shopping good-bye.

This is me. 
So, I've decided to take a 3 month shopping hiatus. 
I take it with the hopes that I will make the world better, instead of my shopping. No more feeding into the corporate, need-want-need machine. 

I know, you be like: 
That's how I feel too. But the girl who loves clothes and shoes and accessories is swearing new ones off for at least, AT LEAST, three months. For so many reasons that span personal, financial, spiritual, practical. All of which I'm sharing with you today -partly for your information, mostly as a reminder for myself on Black Friday when I want to be like: 
But won't because I'm on a shopping freeze. 

Last night I sat down with Mr. T and said, "We need to talk because you've got to know this before I can convince myself otherwise." We talked, I explained. And he did this: 

And then, he said, "You can do it. I'll make sure." Those make sure words are definitely terrifying. Now, all jokes and hilarious GIFs aside: I'm taking three months off shopping. 

The Reasons: 
1. Stuff matters too much to me. It does. I have a look I want to maintain that has got me thinking I NEED, NEED, NEED. 
2. The different between want and need is so blurry I can't define it. So, I will spend three months re-learning what the two mean to me. 
3. We want a house. Those things cost money -A LOT OF MONEY. So, we save by me not spending. 
4. I have plenty. More than plenty. And plenty breeds plenty-ous. Time to stop the machine and be glad in what I've got. 
5. My heart's been feeling really heavy and really convicted about all my material shit. I stop buying and start evaluating what I've got in a clear mind and we'll see what happens. 

The Rules: 
1. No buying clothes, shoes, jewelry for myself. 
2. No unnecessary grocery store or Target buys. Just because it's for sale, doesn't mean you have to own it. 
3. Birthday and Christmas presents are ONLY allowed for other people. No self-gifting allowed.
4. No telling someone else you want something so they buy it and then pay them back. (Mom, that means us) 
5. All are free to keep Amber accountable. Damn it. 

My Plan: 
1. Stay clear of Target -the kryptonite to my no-shop plan. 
2. Keep off online shopping sights even if I'm "gathering outfit ideas" because that always ends up in a cart of online gold. 
3. Save gift cards until the fast is over. Because, let's be honest, no need to lead oneself into temptation. 
4. Be honest with real life friends. I have some girls who are my shopping sisters. Oh how good we do. And, I need to share my fast, my reasons, my heart so they can support me in my ways. 
5. Remember how much I do have. In the face of clothing racks, I'm a creature of want. Instead, I long to be a creature of thanks. 

Some Related Truth: 
This wasn't Mr. T's idea. All mine, though there will be moments in these months I will blame him. He's in agreement and he's going to do some cut backs of his own, but we'll still vacation, date, and enjoy time together. In fact, we'll do that with a new appreciation for those moments because we're pulling tight the purse strings in other facets of our budget. 

My prayer (seriously, I will pray for this in the next three months and you can pray for me too) is that I will get to January 1st, 2014 and want to try it for an entire year. I know I truly can't believe I'm considering such a possibility. 
All this to say, I want a house for my (one day) family and I want to stay home with my (one day) kids. Doing so changes our finances and if I could begin to prepare, to change my habits now, I should. I will. I can. Because, they're worth it, Mr. T and Baby Ts. 

Finally, Mr. T doesn't get mad. He can dislike my spending habits without getting upset with me. He is a man of grace. Up to this point, I let it be and didn't feel guilt. But, lately, I've recognized this trait in him so specifically and the complementary trait in me that's taking advantage of his grace. What kind of look is that for our marriage? Not a good one. So, in loving Jason and in loving our God, I step back and do what's best for us, not what's best for just me. And, that's practicing self-control and some discipline. 

Moral of the story: I'm kissing shopping good-bye. 
(That was shopping that just awkwardly fell on her face.) 

33 comments:

  1. i have been doing this since june, and with the exception of my stitchfix dress, i have been successful! i had all the same reasons as you, and i think when i do start buying again, it will be much more restrained and thoughtful, because i now know how to assess my needs vs. my wants.
    but fyi....you may find yourself filling many an online shopping cart before tearing yourself away...it physically hurts. not that i know from experience.

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  2. You can do it!! I did it for the same reasons. Because we want a house also, and I felt almost guilty when Marcus would just smile. I know you will get through this I promise! In the end, it will be worth it. You will look back and say "That was easy, let's take it from 3 months to 6 months." I will keep you and Mr. T in my prayers! #teamNOshopping

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  3. Good for you girl!!!!! Reading this makes me want to join you in your 3 month hiatus! I spend on frivolous things that I shouldn't be spending on. Which is crazy with our WEDDING coming up and all. So I do actually think I'll join you! We can do this together girl!

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  4. I gave up shopping for lent last year...and was actually surprised by how easy it was! I'm trying to cut back on shopping now too...with a house in mind for us as well. And it's harrrd...all these cute fall clothes seem to be calling to me. But no I don't need ANOTHER pair of boots or 12 more pairs of leggings.

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  5. Yay! I am so excited for you to be able and challenge yourself in this way.
    Its something that's been pretty huge in my life since my first year in college.
    I actually haven't gone clothes shopping since I moved up here in December - but you dress way better than me, so there's that. I'll admit giving up the clothes thing wasn't too hard for me.

    The truth is, 10 years from now, anything you wear today will be tacky.

    Praying for you and your journey, girl, you got this!

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  6. I'm on the same plan for the next 3 months (at least). It won't be easy but we can do it! If you need any talking off the shopping ledge (so to speak) you can always vent to me!

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  7. And you'll be so happy when you're sitting in your house realizing how doing this got you there :)

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  8. I felt like I was reading something I wrote myself with this post--especially at the end, discussing Mr. T's attitude about all of this. C is exactly the same way, and I respond exactly. the same. way. You're so much braver than I am... good luck with this! I'll pray for you to make it through--and perhaps for the grace to do this myself. Power to you, girl!

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  9. Oh how I need to do this. Actually have a post brewing about the same thing. My husband brings me packages every day and I forget what I've ordered. Darn online shopping. His excat words "There will always be sales, it doesn't mean you have to buy from all of them" he is a wise man haha
    Good luck with this and if you go through your closet wanting to get rid of some older items, don't forget about me ;-)

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  10. ok, I have to say good luck with this. I know you can do it ... and PS i love all the videos ... made my day!!

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  11. I love this. You are so inspiring. Praying for you during this fast, lovely!

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  12. Good job! I know this can be a hard commitment to make! I decided in August to do no more shopping for myself, no more acquiring of unnecessary stuff...I don't have a time limit, because this is based on some new goals in our life and the fact that we want to be able to move in the near future, and my motivation is that I don't want to buy stuff only to not be taking it with us when we move!

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  13. I think I need to do this....Not only do I spend money on clothes I don't need, but makeup and hair products and other frivolous things. I need to set some rules! Good luck :)
    www.thisanalogadventure.com

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  14. Oh girl. The online shopping cart. So tempting.

    I'm hoping in a month I'll be able to look through my closet and find lots that I don't need OR want and can kiss goodbye! :)


    P.S. Email me your tips and tricks puh-lease

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  15. That smile they do is a stomach turner, eh? Oh, how it turns mine. I know that I can do it, but figure the more honest about it I am, the easier it'll be to keep up with! :) #saynotoshoppingandyestoeverythingelse!

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  16. We can do it! We can do it! Maybe I'll start a Facebook group so we can share in our frustrations, temptations, and easy moments?

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  17. Boots.
    Leggings.
    Oh my. I guess I don't need ANOTHER pair.

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  18. So true about the 10 years from now. And that's where I've been trying to move my focus from the right now to the later.

    I'm hoping in a month I'll be able to go through my closet and be not at NEED about what I've got. :)

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  19. Ok, so I created a Facebook group for this so we can all share in the frustrations, the joys, and the in between. Join us?

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/168800106642565/

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  20. Thank you love!!! Oh, it's so hard when they're so sweet because you don't want to take advantage of it, but they're just so easy going... The joys of marriage with an easy-going man!


    If you decide to take the plunge (even if it's in a modified way) please share with me!

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  21. Oh girl I will! I'm hoping to clean out my closet in a month and be less inclined to NEED everything... If you take the shop-free plunge join Shop-Free with Mr. Thomas & Me on FB so we can share in the joys, frustrations, and in between...

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/168800106642565/

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  22. Thank you love! The GIFS made me nervous at first, but they've been so well received! :)

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  23. Rachel, please share your stories and tips with me. SERIOUSLY.

    I've also set up a FB group for some Shop-Free girls to share in their joys and frustrations if you'd like to join as an "expert" we would LOVE to have you!

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/168800106642565/

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  24. Oh, I love this idea! It totally scares me but I am going to try to do it as well. I have that same husband that just smiles and says...whatever you like dear...shame on me! I definitely do not need more stuff but for some reason I always seem to forget it when a see all the shiny sparkly new things I could have.
    PS I love the Gif's

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  25. For me, a big part of it is having that set purpose behind not buying. We're preparing to move....I know we already have too much stuff to take with us, so I don't want to add anything extra to that stuff, and I want to save money for the moving process. I still go to the mall, because I really like the mall. :) But that motivation is enough to keep me saying--I don't actually need that, I'll be fine without it. One question I like to ask myself when considering buying something is, "Will I regret it for the rest of my life if I don't buy this item?" Usually, as you can imagine ,the answer is no. It's dramatic, yeah, but that works for me.

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  26. Great idea! We have a "blow money" spending category, which we get to use monthly on whatever we want. It's only $50, so I've had to get used to not shopping, especially since I quickly spend all my allotment on new running shoes and race registrations. I've honestly gotten used to it after a while. The hard thing is when something's on sale, but you're right. Just because it's only sale doesn't mean you have to buy it. Good luck! (P.S. Stopping over from itbritt's blog.)

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  27. This is so inspiring! I just made a big purchase (had to buy a new computer)... So I'll totally be informally joining you in this challenge.

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  28. You can do it! It sounds like you've got your head and heart in the right place. I've suddenly realized how much I spend now that I stay at home with my baby, with a Target right around the corner. It's crazy! I've found that when I need to get out of the house or when I get cabin fever I go shopping. I've started going for more walks, taking more pictures, and visiting friends to keep me from spending unnecessary money. I'm excited to watch you succeed!

    Xoxo
    Betsy

    Www.lifestyledsimply.com

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  29. Race registrations are BRUTAL. I just dropped $200 on two half marathons and my mind was blown!


    My husband always reminds me that just because it's on sale doesn't mean I'm not spending. Damn it. I thought I was inherently saving! :)

    Thanks for coming by from Britt's!

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  30. Girl, it's such a challenge. I had a Bitter Betty moment over the weekend. But then in thinking of the group, I was reminded why we're all doing this for ourselves and our finances! :)

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  31. Jess, join us! https://www.facebook.com/groups/168800106642565/

    As formal or informal as you want to be in your hiatus, we're all sharing our goals and our struggles and our social media spots! :)

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  32. Oh girl, I don't even have a baby and I get stir crazy that I "cure" with a little shopping fix. I'm going to have to try and figure that all out before I have babes of my own to stay at home with! :)


    Thanks for stopping by doll!

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