Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Things could be worse... [Volume 1]


Today is a grouchy day at work. One of those days where I wish all the men I work with (literally I am the only girl) would just stay out in the yard doing mechanical things so I didn't have to listen to them complain about the weather, their wives, and each other. -Side note: these man have all known me 10 plus years so I'm basically a bratty, hormonal little sister complaining about my brothers. 

Being one to always find the glass half full, I realize things could be worse. Like:

I could be eating lion tacos in Florida. (And getting threats for it…) If lion’s not your bag other options are available. Like shark, ostrich, gazelle, duck, camel…

 My stomach is GROWWWLING just looking at that delicacy.

I could be a pregnant Kim Kardashian sporting great aunt Lucy's drapes to a big event... Only to lose in a "Who Wore It Better" Contest to none other than Mrs. Doubtfire. 
I'm going to concur with the people's vote. 

 I could be a firefighter dressed as Smokey Bear in a parade and get caught in my fire engine’s wheel which then runs me over and breaks my leg. Talk about public service.


This is not the Smokey who was run down by his own engine… 
But no one warned that little girl of the dangers of cuddling up to a mascot near a fire engine?

I could nearly die after being swallowed by a hippo. Now would be a good time to remove river guide at the Zambezi river between Zambia and Zimbabwe from my list of things to do when I grow up.

WATCH OUT WOMAN! THAT VERY CUTE BUT VERY RABID HIPPO IS TRYING TO BITE YOUR FACE OFF!

I could have been a victim in the Weinerpocalypse where a truck FULL of hot dogs tipped over spilling the Ballpark franks all over the highway… No fire, thus, no wienie roast.

 

If this post left you scarred and wishing for a teddy bear to cuddle with at night, here’s some pictures of baby animals that’ll reverse any and all trauma. Just remember, as cute as these babes are, they bite. 

And please remember, things could be worse. 

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