Tuesday, May 14, 2013

If I were a president, I would be Bang-erham Lincoln. (Alternatively Titled: Let's Talk Hair Trends and Dopple-Bang-ers)

One day, a few months back I got bangs.
And love them. 
So much they got a selfie starring said Bangs
understudy by Awka-awkward Smile
(yes, shameless Pitch Perfect reference)
and ButtChin Galore.
Aweeeee. So pretty. 
Jason loves them too...

 Because I remind him of Garth. 

When things are tense I usually throw up this pose and do Garth's diner dance.
Talk about diffusing the situation. 
(Jason resembles more of an angry mole than Garth, but not all of us have such ravishing good locks)
I'm sure the Garth dance isn't a "healthy" resolution... 
But doesn't laughing cure cancer or something? 

When I want to be really rock'n'roll, I braid them overnight.
And wear them out all wavey-like.
Usually I pay someone to let me follow them around for the day...
With the stipulation that they do have to dress like Wayne.
I'm a natural with the waves. 
It's not the size of the bangs, but the motion of the ocean friends.
(Could that go naughty sexual innuendo? Yes, but I didn't mention it.)
Add some dark frames to my look and boom.
You've got Garth-ita.
Just to feminize it.
Eh? Scha man.
We do look good.

Seriously though, Halloween.
I'm coming for you, October 31st.

Speaking of me having bangs... 
They're actually a throwback. 
Lookie here, retro bowl-cut bangs.
WHAT A BABE?!?
I know. 
Contain yourself friends.
And the bow on my head was a miracle in itself.
From birth I was ANTI frill.
I can only imagine the extortion that went along with said ruffly ribbony hair accessory. 
But that's another story for another day. 

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