Thursday, May 30, 2013

An Apology to my Gay Friends on Behalf of Misguided, Misrepresentative Religion

Dear Gay Friend,

It's your Christ-loving, religious friend here. Don't cringe or stop. I beg you to keep reading.

I've approached our relationship all wrong. And today is my day to (first) apologize. I'm sorry for being the Pharisee in your life. For living out a story of self-righteous, high-horse, judgmental ways. It's a tale that's unfair, ugly, and completely unbecoming.

My unjust actions are not a reflection of how I feel; rather a semblance of how I felt religion (not Christ, but the human-induced structure of the church) told me to act. What a shame. For me and for Him.

Like the Pharisees, I was so caught up in the rules and legalities of my "faith" (though I question if it can be called that in light of my shallowness), that I couldn't see the lessons you had in store for me. You taught me more than many of my "good" Christian friends and church leaders. You've showed me what it means to trust in God's grace and mercy. You're walking proof that God is good and makes no mistake, but that this world is broken and aching.

Christ made it clear throughout the course of his life that it's important to love the sinner, and hate the sin that plagues their life. I hate sin. All sin, be it gossip, greed, lying, homosexuality, lust, and the list goes on. But I love sinners. Just like you loved me despite the way I've been judgmental, dishonest, self-centered, unkind, and -worst of all- self-righteous. You're a consummate example of looking past the brokenness of others and seeking that gleaming bit of God's goodness within our flesh.

Namely, you taught me to own my sin. In doing so, I am afforded the opportunity to rest in and share the grace of our everlasting God. Your transparency opens my eyes to the fight between flesh and righteousness. We've talked many times about your life versus mine. You opened my eyes to the way your flesh can desire sin, while your heart and soul long to honor God. Never before has the sin-soul struggle been so evident to me.

You, friend, are to be honored. You are honest and true in your sin. I am not. I lie and say I've got myself together, that you're worse off than me. You're candid; thus, beautiful in all that you do. I stupidly attempt to hide my sin in a facade of perfection. I think about you often. Especially when my skin itches with the desire to make another attempt at concealing the sinful film that feels so dirty.

I love you friend. May I leave my high horse behind and walk beside you in this insane thing we call life? I long to ditch the man-made religious protocol that I've rested in for a decade and enjoy the experience of unabashed honesty though it may leave my heart and flesh raw.

Your self-righteous, self-centered, but hopefully repentant Christian friend

*I love interaction, but any and all hateful comments on this post will be deleted no questions asked. Keep it respectful and non-toxic friends. 

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