Tuesday, March 12, 2013

I'm lucky my eyes will open... Much less that I can lift them.

The last 48 hours is a body of time filled with questions, fears, frustrations, and more "What If's" than I'd ever thought possible. The facts, opinions, and prayers become muddled... Becoming one mass of confusing words and thoughts. Mama Bird wrestles with God. I stand alongside and mutter my frustration with Him and doubt and fear and love and family under my breath while trying to hold out hope in His doing. Oh, how this team effort goes. 

In my bible study and prayer time, I prayed God show me what we need to hear from Him... And He made it obvious, we're not the only ones who need to hear from Him tonight. So I share here, instead of by simple email.

My Dear Mama Bird, 

Tonight as I was catching up on #shereadstruth my heart was heavy for you... I was begging God to give me something for you. Something not of me and my heart, but from Him... Because, well, I have left every single talk with you the last two days feeling inadequate and frustrated by that. Then it dawned on me, I am inadequate. 

But, Mama Bird, He isn't. In fact, He's perfectly perfect for you right now. You see, we are amidst a hideous and wild storm that seems to be unending. I can play meteorologist and pretend to guess the timing... But aren't those guys wrong most of the time anyway? 

Psalm 121 starts "I lift my eyes up to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and earth." 

I sang along as I read those words. I realized I knew them, not simply as bible words, but as a verse in a song. Thank you Casting Crowns. Please listen Mama Bird. The words in the song are for you as a reminder of Him. I believe it'll give you that awareness of His presence that I've been trying to create in my ridiculously human ways. 

(Listen to every lyric, play it eight times over like I had to, 
the words are so timely and perfect and scream God-speak to me)

He is who He is, no matter who we are. There is nothing that has/can/will happen to remove us from the hope that is Him.

"And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full. 
And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: 
and they awake him, and say unto him, 
"Master, don't you care that we will perish?"
And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, 
"Peace, be still." 
And the wind ceased, and there was great calm." 
-Mark 4:37-39

We are in the midst of the waves that beat into the ship and we are fearing it'll overflow. We are calling out to Him. He will wake and respond to our cries, I have faith. But for now, we must enjoy His peaceful, resting presence. 

I hear Him whisper. He's promising a rainbow at the end of the storm to remind us of His goodness. He's whispering into our ears to trust, to let go, to persevere in peace. I hear Him speak sweet nothings reminding us of His unceasing love and devotion to our family. 

And He says, 
"I will keep you from all harm- 
I will watch over your life, Minegar-Thomas Family;
I will watch over your coming and going 
both now and forevermore." 
-Psalm 121: 7-8

Now our task is to lift our eyes to the hills. And look to Him for help. He promises not to let us slip or doze on us. We don't need to run them... In repeat. Just look. Wait patiently and prayerfully. As He asked of us in Psalm 121.

I love you so imperfectly Mama Bird.
His love for you is unblemished and pure. 
Signing off,
Baby Bird


  1. this is such a gift. how blessed your family is to have each other!

  2. This is such an emotional, uplifting letter. I am not sure what your family is going through, but you've got it right Amber. Our Father will honor your faith and trust in Him. He is good!


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