Monday, October 15, 2012

If We're Being Honest, That's What We're Doing Right?

As you've noticed, if you've stuck around for any time or mosied through past posts, things are changing around here. I've spent four years blogging -intensely and not-so-much- in search of what makes me proud to post, what pours from the depths of my heart and soul, and what sneaks out into the universe and makes one person a little bit better. It seems, of late, that I'm onto something.

People, most of who see me regularly and are my Facebook friends, are reading. And responding. Maybe only responding to me and not applying it to their own lives. But isn't that where it begins? By just a little movement in a single direction... Then the movement gains momentum and next thing you know you're all over the place and messing yourself up -in a good way. A good, messed up, multi-directional way.

Then, as I stumbled around the interwebs like a drunken frat boy, I fell upon this from Frugal Mama. I'm not so much frugal, or a mama, but she's right. Aptly titled Don't Read This if You Want Your Life to Stay The Same, I am changed. Emboldened, if you will.

I long for my words to resonate in the hearts of many and to change the way people do life. But how?

I want you to learn to laugh and cry at the way life is a good, messed up, multi-directional thing that, sometimes, leaves you lying on the floor in a heap of ughhhhhh wishing you knew that just one day was going to go as you planned it.  But how?

That said, I'm writing a book. About what? I don't know just yet. But I've been keeping it a secret. To be honest -because that's what we're doing right- I'm sort of embarrassed... Or maybe more like gunshy about it. What if you think it's dumb? Or already know that you aren't going to read anything that is authored by Amber Thomas?

Once again with the honest theme.
I just barely told Jason that I'm serious. You know, sometimes I joke to test his take on it, but the other night while we lay in the darkness of mid-night, I said,
"Jason."
Praying he was sleeping too hard to hear me...
And he -now why is he awake too? -replied, "Yes, what now?"
(To be honest, this isn't our first mid-night serious talk)
"I'm going to write a book."
I know his face though it's dark. Large blue eyes rolling wildly about in their sockets wondering why the hell 2:00 am is the perfect time to talk like this.
Silence.
"But really, I am." -my cheeks are burning out of sheer nerves. Suddenly, the 40 degree night feels sweltering.
(Yep, we're married, we've been together almost 4 years and I can work myself up into a blushing panic awaiting his support)
"That's great. If you don't mind, about what?"
Damn it. He wasn't supposed to ask that part yet.
"I don't rightly know. I just need to. A need, you know, like breathing, or talking, or kissing, it's a need."
"I think you'll do a good job."
Whew. Blood reroutes to my brain and the flush in my cheeks fades.
"That's it. You can sleep, or lay awake silently, or whatever you were doing before this."

You see, just barely told him. And, strategically at night, so then if he asks if it's a dream, I can say, "Yes, you looney toon, I didn't want to have a 'here's-a-new-goal-I-have" talk at 2:00 am. In fact, I was sleeping so soundly at that point even an anvil dropped from the sky couldn't have woken me."

But, it wasn't a dream. It's reality. I need to write. And I've started. It'll be a book. And I'll want you to read it. Or, at least, buy it and let it gather dust on one of your shelves so I can feel good about myself.

And while you anxiously await more of me in novel form (or at least you do, mom) encourage me, call me out, check in and make sure I'm making things happen. Why? Because I know you're reading and you've got big dreams of your own... And we both know a little encouragement goes a long way.

So here are my goals in plain English, because I'm being honest and so they're written out for reference later, by you or me:

1. Write a book.
2. Write a book that changes someone's life that will in turn change someone else's life... So on and so forth.
3. In a little way, change the world for the better.

That said, I've been contemplating a new name for this space, something more... literary, more me, more fitting. Although it'll always be Mr. Thomas and Me, I want it to be more about doing life out of love and in love too.

Finally, you've got to have dreams too. And, remember, we're being honest here, so share. Email me, comment, text, whatever you've got to do and share your dreams. I want to encourage you like you do me. (I'm counting on you already, folks.)

Dream on my dear dreamers. Dream on.

2 comments:

  1. Are you serious?? Are you an angel? Really?
    I absolutely cannot wait for your book - promise you will send me a signed copy in SA before it hits the shelves??

    You are one incredibly special and super talented young lady - your family and sweet husband are so lucky to have you in their lives (and they sound awesome too!)

    This post made me laugh and cry but most of all it spoke to me and made me realize how terrible I am at setting goals, writing down goals and achieving goals. i need to sort tho out NOW!!

    Thank you sweet Mrs Thomas x

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  2. Good for you Amber and where can we pre-order the mystery book?? I admire your passion and determination to go after your dreams!I will be following along with anticipation. And in regards to those mean girls from the 5th grade, FORGET ABOUT THEM!! It was just a moment in time, not what defines YOU :))))
    LOVE YOU~

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