Monday, October 8, 2012

Dementia don't care, but more importantly, I'm Good.

(This photo has nothing to do with this post... But I liked it -the book in a boat and the picture- so I'm sharing it with you)

I've had this weird phenomenon going on in my life. This funny thing I promised I'd never do, yet I'm doing, but not doing - all at once.

You see, I promised I'd never be one of those church people that says, "Oh things are good." when people ask how I'm doing when really things are in shambles behind the scenes. Nope, I would never be a faker and hide my emotions.

But then, this weird thing happened. 

You see my dad is dying. Dementia doesn't care about his five kids, his doting wife and their almost 26 years of marriage. Dementia doesn't care that we still have things we want to do or that it'll hurt like hell to put my dad in a care facility when things get too burdensome. No, the crazy, nastyass dementia badger don't care, it don't give a shit. (Please tell me you get this and Jason and I aren't the only one's laughing at this ridiculous video**)

Back to the point, my dad is dying as a result of sick and twisted dementia. And I'm good. Things are good. Genuinely. Honestly. Good. 

Would I give my left arm and right leg to have him better? You bet your sweet booty toots. But, his brain isn't sticking around. In fact, he's losing his mind slowly, but detectably. And things are good. Because he is happy in spirit and body and mind. And because He is happy with the way our family is clinging so, so desperately to the everlasting joy and unfathomable peace that He is so gracious to bestow upon us.

I'm good. I mean it. I am loving my father in a way I never imagined possible. And I'm doing so in the big and little moments as I never would have without this death sentence.

Do I make sense here? I'm saying I'm good when I know more words are expected. But really, I am good. We are good. And I'll share lots of words with you, but it's also a lot of heaviness and that can feel burdensome. I've never been about burdens. I guess that's why I'm good. God's shouldered the burden and I'm basking in His goodness. Join me? 

P.S. A little bit of business, I'm still cooking and crafting... And I'm keeping the recipes in a book, I just have sort of changed directions here a bit. Give me some time to decide how this little place will be heading... 

**Tiny side note: the more I listen to the voice over of that video I realize I could write the same script about dementia and it would take over parts of the brain... Maybe I will be the next YouTube sensation! 

3 comments:

  1. So funny. Yep. Dementia don't care but we will walk with Peter showing gods care and love in spite of dementia.

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  2. Loved the video, and Your strength is amazing!! Think of you all always!!!

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  3. Loved the video and I am so glad you are good :)
    I've missed you special girl x

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