Saturday, September 1, 2012

That Thing Life's Good At

This may be the most incomprehensible post ever.
Or at least the first of many that you and I will struggle to make sense of.
I long to write, to put something out there for you.
But life is doing that thing it does so well,
changing.
And it makes me uncomfortable.
And frustrated.
And longing for more and less all at once.

We spent this last week in the hospital with my dad.
This man.
(He always does that with his smile thing... Talk about a model)
Talk about hard.
Our family was broken.
We spent three years fighting a disease that had a hold on my dad
and on us. 
Each and every one. 
His body revolted on Sunday and he got sick.
The ambulance came.
We cried and worried and fought with God.
We sat in a link in the ER holding hands.
The three of us.
Linked like a small chain.
Praying.
Wishing.
Wanting more and less all at once.

And then He did something amazing.
He did what the bible says.
He provided.
I've heard God provides more times than I've showered in my life.
(And that's a lot, I'm a clean person)
But I saw it happen. In every moment.
He does.
At times he provided more and at others less.
He provided all at once.

Doctors, nurses, family friends.
They showed up.
They spoke words to us that were not theirs, but His.
They cried with us.
No dumb trite words telling us it'll be ok.
Just promising to be what they've always been despite life's changes.
They laughed at our corny jokes to try and make light of darkness.
They felt the weight.
The pressure that's making us God-diamonds.
And they helped settle the dust so we could shine.
That we did.

He will be glorified.
We are determined.
In grief,
in joy,
in frustration,
in calm,
in routine,
in change.
In all the life brings, He will remain.
And His glory continues.
(as will this story)

2 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry Amber! You're godly perspective is encouraging. Praying for you all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Amber, all you can do now is BELIEVE!!
    My thoughts and prayers are with you, your dad and your family at this time.
    x

    ReplyDelete

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